EP479 - Contempt and Distance: The Silent Bedroom Killer

EP479 - Contempt and Distance: The Silent Bedroom Killer

Author: Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education February 24, 2026 Duration: 31:41

Welcome to Episode 479 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Zach Brittle who speaks to me about negative sentiment override and how relationship dynamics shape our erotic connection.

 

In this episode, Zach and I discuss how the emotional tone of a relationship deeply influences intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. We look at the concept of Negative Sentiment Override, a term from John Gottman’s research, and discuss how couples can find themselves stuck in patterns where even neutral moments feel charged with criticism or defensiveness. 


Zach has been teaching, coaching, mentoring and counseling couples for nearly 20 years. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Washington and a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) and Relational Life Therapist. He is the host of Marriage Therapy Radio and the author of the best selling relationship guide The Relationship Alphabet and the Marriage Therapy Journal. His writings and insights have also been featured in Vanity Fair, Men’s Health, Real Simple, The New York Times and the Washington Post. Zach has been happily married to his wife Rebecca for 25 of 28 years. They live in Seattle with their two adulting daughters.

 

In this episode, you will hear:

 

·      Understanding Negative Sentiment Override

·      Positive Versus Negative Emotional Filters

·      The Pasta Example And Neutral Events

·      Emotional Safety And Sexual Vulnerability

·      Gender Socialization And Desire Patterns

·      Slowing Down Between Impulse And Response

·      Taking Responsibility In Relationship Conflict

·      Contempt And The Illusion Of Superiority

·      Redefining What Sex Is For

·      Scheduling Erotic Play And Expanding Intimacy

 

Work With Dr. Nazanin Moali

 

Spice Up Your Social Media Feed AND Your Sex Life: Follow Us On Instagram


Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions



Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Curiosity about human sexuality is universal, yet finding grounded, evidence-based conversations can be surprisingly difficult. That’s where Sexology comes in. Hosted by clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Nazanin Moali, this weekly series moves beyond sensationalism and stigma to bring you thoughtful dialogues with leading experts, researchers, and therapists. Each episode delves into the nuanced psychology of sex, intimacy, and relationships, translating complex findings into relatable insights. You’ll hear conversations that address the questions many ponder but hesitate to voice, covering everything from desire and communication to the science of pleasure and emotional connection. Dr. Moali’s background in both couple therapy and sex education ensures these discussions are both academically rigorous and deeply practical. Rather than offering quick fixes, this podcast provides a compassionate space to understand the multifaceted nature of our sexual selves. Tuning in feels like gaining access to a candid, confidential forum where nothing is off-limits and everything is examined with respect and intellectual curiosity. For anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of personal or relational dynamics, Sexology offers a trusted, enlightening resource that demystifies the complexities of human sexuality through a scientific and therapeutic lens.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Sexology
Podcast Episodes
EP416 - The Vagina Business: Closing the Orgasm Gap [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:54
Welcome to Episode 416 of the Sexology Podcast! In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking to Dr. Marina Gerner to discuss her fascinating book on femtech - short for female technology. Together, we explored some gr…
EP415 - The Lives of Sex Working Parents [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 44:56
Welcome to Episode 415 of the Sexology Podcast! I’m thrilled to be joined by Alyssa Brayboy, an incredibly talented independent filmmaker and sex worker. In this episode, she talks about her beginnings in Virginia to her…
EP414 - Not Your Average Sex Worker: Myths & Facts [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:11
Welcome to Episode 414 of the Sexology Podcast! I’m thrilled to be joined by Amy Taylor, who speaks about her fascinating and multifaceted career, including her experiences in sex work.In this conversation we touched on…
EP413 - Sex Worker’s Rights: From Oppression to Opportunity [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:23
Welcome to Episode 413 of the Sexology Podcast! I’m thrilled to be joined by Soleil Merroir a certified sex therapist, supervisor, and sex worker, who brings a rare perspective on the intersection of therapy and sex work…
EP412 - What You Don’t Know: Women, Sex, Power, and Pleasure [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:36
Welcome to Episode 412 of the Sexology Podcast! I’m thrilled to have Suzannah Weiss with us today as we delve into her powerful new book, Subjectified. In this episode, we explore the book’s central themes, focusing on e…
EP411 - Hidden In Plain Sight: Men’s Fears With Women [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:42
Welcome to Episode 411 of the Sexology Podcast! I’m excited to have Dr. Avrum Weiss joining us today. Dr. Weiss is a psychologist, author, and speaker, known for his work on men's emotional experiences and fears in relat…
EP410 - Get Hard Again: Everything You Need to Know [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:01
Welcome to Episode 410 of the Sexology Podcast! I’m thrilled to be joined today by Dr. Elliot Justin, Founder and CEO of FirmTech. In this conversation, we explore Dr. Justin’s inspiring journey - from launching FirmTech…
EP409 - Sperm Health: Male Fertility Facts [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:32
Welcome to episode 409 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Gabriela Rosa. In this conversation, we discuss the often-overlooked issue of male fertility, highlighting the need for comprehensi…
EP407 - Delayed Orgasms: Reaching Sexual Satisfaction [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:27
Welcome to episode 407 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Justin Houman. In this conversation, we discuss the often overlooked issue of delayed orgasm in men. Dr. Houman explains the pr…