189. Tracy DeTomasi, Chris McGee & Derrick Hurley: Why Men Must Be Part of the Solution

For this episode, I brought together three people who have become powerful voices in the fight against sexual violence: Tracy DeTomasi, CEO of Callisto, Chris McGee, and Derrick Hurley. What started for Chris and Derrick as deeply personal journeys after the sexual assaults of their daughters has evolved into full-scale advocacy work focused on changing laws, challenging rape culture, supporting survivors, and pushing men to stop standing on the sidelines. This conversation centers around the upcoming "Dudes and Dads" campaign with Callisto, an organization using encrypted technology to help survivors privately identify serial perpetrators and connect safely with other survivors. We talk openly about why so many survivors never report, why serial offending is far more common than most people realize, and why men need to stop viewing this issue as "someone else's problem." What stood out to me throughout this roundtable was the honesty. Nobody here pretends to have all the answers. We talk about mistakes, discomfort, fear, frustration, and the reality that advocacy work is exhausting. But we also talk about why staying silent is no longer acceptable. Men have to become part of the solution. Not performatively. Not occasionally. Consistently. This episode is ultimately about action. Whether that means supporting a survivor, challenging harmful attitudes, donating to organizations like Callisto, educating young men, or simply having conversations most people avoid, every one of us has a role to play. We normalize this conversation by actually having it. And we start by believing. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these conversations, please consider leaving a 5-star rating on your podcast platform—it truly helps more people find these stories. You can also follow Sexual Assault Survivor Stories on Instagram and send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and you feel like you might be ready to share your story—whether for your own healing or to help someone else—reach out to me. We can start a conversation, with no pressure and no expectations. You can email me directly at dave@sasstories.com. Please include a phone number where I can reach you, because I genuinely prefer to talk with people who are considering guesting. Thank you to everyone who has already reached out—and please keep those emails coming. I truly look forward to hearing from you. Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore. Where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so. Thank you—for listening, for believing survivors, and for being part of this community. https://www.projectcallisto.org/ https://documenttheabuse.org/ https://hassl.uk/ https://saprea.org/ https://whattheydontsay.com https://1in6.org/ https://time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/repeat_rape.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. (Check out https://evawintl.org/ & https://startbybelieving.org for more information on "Start By Believing"!) Thank you for tuning in. --Dave