198. Lyndsey Hackford: The Abuse I Thought Was Love

198. Lyndsey Hackford: The Abuse I Thought Was Love

Author: Dave Markel July 14, 2026 Duration: 53:52
Domestic violence doesn't usually begin with violence. It often begins with what appears to be love. Small compromises become expectations. Isolation is disguised as protection. Control masquerades as concern. Little by little, the person you once were begins to disappear, often without you even realizing it's happening. Domestic violence survivor and advocate Lyndsey Hackford joined me to discuss her journey through years of coercive control, emotional abuse, physical violence, and the incredibly difficult process of rebuilding her life after escaping an abusive marriage. Lyndsey speaks candidly about the psychological realities of abuse, why leaving is often the most dangerous time for a survivor, and the long road toward rediscovering confidence, identity, and hope. Today, Lyndsey uses her experience to advocate for survivors across the country through speaking engagements and her own podcast, Living in the Aftermath, where she creates space for honest conversations about trauma, healing, resilience, and life beyond abuse. Whether you're a survivor, someone who loves a survivor, or simply want a deeper understanding of how domestic violence really works, this is a conversation you won't soon forget. An important side note: if you're finding value in this show and these amazing episodes, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. AND, follow SexualAssaultSurvivorStories on Instagram, then, please send me a note of support. I can't tell you how much your emails mean to me—they fuel my passion to keep this podcast going. And if you're a victim or survivor and are ready to tell your story in order to help yourself or someone else heal, let me know, and we can start a conversation about the possibility of you being on the show. Here's my email address: dave@sasstories.com Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me already. Just provide me with a phone number where I can reach back out to you…because I like to talk to people who are interested in guesting. And please keep those emails and texts coming…I truly look forward to hearing from you! Here are some critically important links that I hope you'll take the time to explore, and where a contribution is requested, please consider doing so! Lyndsey's Podcast Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey https://livingintheaftermath.com/ (official website, if available through her podcast branding) (Apple Podcasts) Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-in-the-aftermath-with-lyndsey/id1832389204 (Apple Podcasts) Social Media Instagram: @living.inthe.aftermath (Apple Podcasts) Personal Instagram: @lyndseyh6723 (Apple Podcasts) Listen to Other Interviews with Lyndsey That's Where I'm At : "Living in the Aftermath with Lyndsey Hackford: Stories of Survival, Advocacy, and Hope Beyond Abuse" (sites.libsyn.com) Shattered Silence Podcast : "Healing After Domestic Violence" (Apple Podcasts) The Rollercoaster Podcast: "I Was Abused But Thought It Was Love…" (Spotify) Media Coverage FOX 13 Utah "Utah survivor of domestic violence shares her story from victim to advocate." (FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU)) Daily Herald "Healthy Relationships Should Be for Everyone" (featuring Lyndsey's advocacy work). (heraldextra.com) Domestic Violence Resources Mentioned The Refuge Utah https://therefugeutah.org National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233) https://1in6.org/ https://soulwisesolutions.com https://safeinharmsway.org https://sironahealing.com/ https://www.whattheydontsay.com www.arcigrey.com https://startbybelieving.org https://evawintl.org/ As mentioned, and emphasized, it's time to Normalize the Conversation.™ And please remember to Start by Believing…because we all know someone whose life has been impacted by rape or sexual assault. Thank you for tuning in. -Dave

Hosted by Dave Markel, Sexual Assault Survivor Stories creates a necessary and nuanced space centered on personal narratives and expert understanding. Each week, this podcast shares firsthand accounts from individuals who have experienced sexual assault, offering a raw and respectful look at the journey from victim to survivor. These stories aren't just about the trauma itself; they delve into the complex path of healing, highlighting both the profound adversities faced and the hard-won victories, large and small. Listening provides a window into the emotional and psychological dynamics that define survival, moving beyond simplistic narratives to honor the full, often messy, human experience. Crucially, this isn't a resource only for those directly affected. The podcast deliberately expands the conversation to educate a broader audience. Episodes explore the principles of trauma-informed communication and break down the neuroscience of trauma and memory, explaining how these factors impact a survivor's recall and testimony. This approach fosters deeper empathy and insight, whether you're a supporter, a professional, or anyone seeking to comprehend these issues on a more informed level. By weaving together personal truth and psychological context, this podcast serves as both a sanctuary for shared experience and a vital tool for collective learning.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Sexual Assault Survivor Stories
Podcast Episodes
175. Amy Watson & HASSL: What You Allow Is What Continues [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:07
There are some episodes of this show that don't revolve around a single survivor story, but they still land just as hard—because they force us to look at ourselves. This is one of those conversations. It's not about reco…
174. Gemini: First the Assault. Then Saprea. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 58:34
There's a distinctive aspect to this show that makes it different from most podcasts in this genre, and I consider it a privilege and honor to recognize those of you who make it that way. Sexual Assault Survivor Stories…
173. Beth: When "Normal" was Actually Rape and Sexual Assault [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:33:34
Beth is a survivor who reached out to me after realizing that memories she once believed were long buried were anything but inconsequential. As she explains, those memories began resurfacing as she engaged in EMDR—Eye Mo…
172. Erica: When a Husband's Power Became Sexual Violence [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:01:32
In this episode I sit down with Erica, a survivor whose experience exposes the devastating reality of coercive control, rape, and sexual assault within a marriage. Erica reached out to share not only what she endured, bu…
171. Dave Markel:  When Showing Up Means Slowing Down [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:55
Today, this episode is a brief reflection from me, recorded as a pause in the regular rhythm of the show. Rather than a guest interview, I'm speaking directly to you, my listeners, about the weight of trauma-informed wor…
166. Jason Patrick Berry: Secrets Beneath a Perfect Childhood [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 47:48
This week on Sexual Assault Survivor Stories, I sit down with Jason Patrick Berry, author of the brave and unflinchingly honest memoir Secrets Beneath. Jason's story is one that quietly breaks your heart and then slowly…