EP 224: Is Behavior Change the Goal?

EP 224: Is Behavior Change the Goal?

Author: Robyn Gobbel June 3, 2025 Duration: 34:57
When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least. In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it’s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous systems. HEADS UP! I’m not necessarily asking YOU- the one facing these out of control behaviors- to change your goal of behavior change. But…what...

Robyn Gobbel, an internationally recognized expert in children's mental health, hosts The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}. This podcast serves as a compassionate guide for parents raising children whose nervous systems are vulnerable due to past trauma, toxic stress, neuroimmune disorders, or sensory processing differences. Each episode is dedicated to decoding the confusing and often overwhelming behaviors that can leave caregivers feeling isolated and unsure. Robyn translates complex neuroscience and attachment theory into practical, relatable insights, moving beyond simple behavioral tips to address the root causes of family stress. You'll find a sense of community and understanding here, a place where the struggle is acknowledged without judgment. The conversations in this podcast offer more than strategies; they provide a framework for building safety and connection, helping to shift your perspective from "what's wrong with my child" to "what happened to my child." It’s a resource for anyone exhausted by conventional advice that hasn't worked, emphasizing that you are not alone on this journey. Through stories, expert interviews, and Robyn's own grounded wisdom, the podcast fosters resilience and hope, empowering you to create a family life grounded in co-regulation and mutual understanding.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Podcast Episodes
{RERECORD} The Stress Response System [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 44:28
This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 94 The Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: What stress is and…
{RERECORD} Connection or Protection [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:04
This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 7 The brain has two modes- connection or protection. Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connect…
EP 251: Your Trauma Shaped Nervous System Makes Sense Part 2 of 6 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:19
Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening. If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to…
{RE-RECORD} EP 15: Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 53:56
This episode originally aired in 2020. It's a very popular episode that deserved being updated because so many folks are still listening! *** Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most. It's confus…
EP 250: When Parenting Triggers your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 45:29
Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system overwhelm. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening. Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stir…
EP 249: Behaviors as Brilliant Adaptations with Sally Maslansky [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:02:07
Content warning: This episode includes discussion of severe trauma, abuse (including sexual abuse), dissociation, and suicidal ideation. Please take care while listening and pause if needed. In today’s episode, Robyn is…
EP 248: Felt Safety when Nothing Feels Safe [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:47
Should we be talking about felt safety when so much is genuinely unsafe? I’ve been thinking a lot about this hard and honest question that so many parents are holding: when danger, injustice, and unmet needs are real and…