EP 224: Is Behavior Change the Goal?

EP 224: Is Behavior Change the Goal?

Author: Robyn Gobbel June 3, 2025 Duration: 34:57
When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least. In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it’s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous systems. HEADS UP! I’m not necessarily asking YOU- the one facing these out of control behaviors- to change your goal of behavior change. But…what...

Robyn Gobbel, an internationally recognized expert in children's mental health, hosts The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}. This podcast serves as a compassionate guide for parents raising children whose nervous systems are vulnerable due to past trauma, toxic stress, neuroimmune disorders, or sensory processing differences. Each episode is dedicated to decoding the confusing and often overwhelming behaviors that can leave caregivers feeling isolated and unsure. Robyn translates complex neuroscience and attachment theory into practical, relatable insights, moving beyond simple behavioral tips to address the root causes of family stress. You'll find a sense of community and understanding here, a place where the struggle is acknowledged without judgment. The conversations in this podcast offer more than strategies; they provide a framework for building safety and connection, helping to shift your perspective from "what's wrong with my child" to "what happened to my child." It’s a resource for anyone exhausted by conventional advice that hasn't worked, emphasizing that you are not alone on this journey. Through stories, expert interviews, and Robyn's own grounded wisdom, the podcast fosters resilience and hope, empowering you to create a family life grounded in co-regulation and mutual understanding.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Podcast Episodes
REPLAY: Titrating Connection- Oppositional Series Part 4 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:34
In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to…
REPLAY: When Connection isn't Safe- Oppositional Series Part 3 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:49
If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child? In this episode you’ll learn: How connection and protection…
REPLAY: Strategies for Oppositional Behavior- Part 2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:46
Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies…
REPLAY: Oppositional And Defiant Behavior- Part 1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:51
What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Opposi…
REPLAY: Felt Safety (Between) Part 3 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:20
Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between. In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship! In this episode, you’ll…
REPLAY: Felt Safety (Outside) Part 2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:05
In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment. In this episode, you…
REPLAY: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:13
Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation. FREE Downloadable Infographic all about Felt Safety! RobynGobbel.com…