Can We Build an “Us” Without a “Them”? with John Green

Is it possible to build a community without a 'them'? Author, YouTuber, and podcaster John Green joins Brené Brown and Adam Grant for a wide-ranging conversation on belonging, friendship, and the systems that shape our lives. Together, they explore why sports can create such powerful communities, whether it’s possible to build an “us” without needing a “them,” and why shared projects can help relationships last for decades. John reflects on the challenges of young adulthood, what he learned from working as a hospital chaplain, and why supporting someone in pain sometimes means resisting the urge to fix it. The conversation also moves through why frictionless access, not just awareness, is essential to helping people get the care they need, the role coaches can play in athletes’ well-being, and John’s upcoming novel Hollywood, Ending. Hollywood, Ending - John Green, September, 2026, hollywoodendingbook.com CrashCourse - Hank Green & John Green, YouTube  Demonic males: Apes and the origins of human violence - Wrangham & Peterson, 1996, Houghton Mifflin. The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex - Charles Darwin, 1871/1999, Project Gutenberg Not Like Me = Bad: Infants Prefer Those Who Harm Dissimilar Others - J. Kiley Hamlin, 2013, Psychological Science The Social Self: On Being the Same and Different at the Same Time - Marilynn B. Brewer, 1991, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin The Away End - Episode 1: John Green & Daniel Alarcon Dissect the 2026 World Cup Draw - The Away End, 2026, YouTube Roger Bennett – Men in Blazers Media Network Developmental Sequence in Small Groups - Bruce W. Tuckman, 1965, Psychological Bulletin The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times - Pema Chodron, 2002, Shambhala The Framework for Leading With Both Care and Accountability - Brené Brown, 2026, The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant "The Fault in Our Stars" Author John Green on Reaching Young Adults and Dealing With Mental Illness - CBS News, 2020, 60 Minutes (CBS News) The Social Determinants of Mental Health and Disorder: Evidence, Prevention and Recommendations - James B. Kirkbride, 2024, World Psychiatry Single-Session Interventions for Mental Health Problems and Service Engagement: Umbrella Review of Systematic Reviews and Meta-Analyses - Jessica Schleider et al., 2025, Annual Review of Clinical PsychologyAdministrative Burdens in the Social Safety Net - Herd and Moynihan, 2024, Journal of Economic Perspectives Perceived Barriers and Facilitators to Mental Health Help-Seeking in Young People: A Systematic Review - Gulliver, Griffiths & Christensen, 2010, BMC Psychiatry The Inverse Care Law - Julian Tudor Hart, 1971, The Lancet Rebooting Psychotherapy Research and Practice to Reduce the Burden of Mental Illness - Alan E. Kazdin & Stacey L. Blase, 2011, Perspectives on Psychological ScienceAre Mental Health Awareness Efforts Contributing to the Rise in Reported Mental Health Problems? A Call to Test the Prevalence Inflation Hypothesis - Lucy Foulkes & Jack L. Andrews, 2023, New Ideas in Psychology  How Coaches Can Be a Source of Mental Health Support for Student-Athletes - Madeline Will, 2024, Education Week Meet the Genius Behind America’s Best Roadside Attraction - Show and Tell, Atlas Obscura, YouTube Kate Bowler - Kate Bowler, katebowler.com How the Intention to Share Can Undermine Enjoyment: Photo-Taking Goals and Evaluation of Experiences - Alixandra Barasch, 2018, Journal of Consumer Research Optimal Distinctiveness Theory: A Framework for Social Identity, Social Cognition, and Intergroup Relations - Geoffrey J. Leonardelli, 2010, Advances in Experimental Social Psychology Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices