Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. March 16, 2026 Duration: 44:34

What happens when the life you built no longer fits who you are — or the world no longer feels safe for your family? In this episode, Jaimie sits down with TJ Shimeld to talk about coming out after marriage, building an unconventional but beautiful co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife, raising a transgender daughter, and ultimately making the life-changing decision to leave the U.S. for Spain.

It’s a conversation about identity, reinvention, grief, freedom, LGBTQ family experiences, and what it means to finally build a life that feels aligned. TJ shares how the 2016 election marked the beginning of a deep unraveling of the “American dream” he thought he was supposed to want — and how that unraveling eventually led him, his husband, and his daughter Opal to a more peaceful, affirming life abroad.


🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Sometimes the life that looks “right” from the outside isn’t the life that fits.
  • Coming out later in life can be painful, liberating, and deeply clarifying.
  • Divorce does not have to mean destruction; it can lead to a different kind of family.
  • Queer and trans safety isn’t theoretical — it shapes daily life, choices, and futures.
  • The feeling of betrayal many LGBTQ+ people experienced after the 2016 election was real and lasting.
  • Finding a place where your family can relax, be seen, and be safe can change everything.
  • Reinvention is possible, even after years of living for everyone else.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

TJ Shimeld is an author, speaker, life coach, and real estate investor currently living in Spain with his husband and daughter. After years of living a life that looked like the “American dream” from the outside, TJ chose a radically different path — one centered on authenticity, healing, and freedom. Today, he helps others navigate transformation, reinvention, and possibility.


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The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!



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Hosted by queer mom Jaimie Kelton, The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories offers a weekly space that is both uproariously funny and deeply genuine. Each episode features conversations with LGBTQIA+ parents, hopeful parents, and their allies, delving into the specific joys and hurdles of building a family outside of traditional frameworks. You’ll hear firsthand accounts of the paths to parenthood-from adoption and fostering to IVF and surrogacy-and the everyday realities of raising kids in a world that can still feel unfamiliar. This podcast moves beyond theory, focusing on lived experiences that cover everything from health and fitness routines that work for queer families to navigating complex conversations about sexuality and society with children. The goal is straightforward: to share stories that normalize these experiences, elevate diverse voices, and celebrate the full spectrum of queer family life. Tuning in means connecting with a community, finding resonance in shared challenges, and gathering a lot of practical wisdom-and laughter-along the way. It’s a resource and a companion for anyone curious about or living within the beautifully expansive definition of a modern family.
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