Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

Leaving the American Dream: Raising a Trans Daughter and Starting Over in Spain

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. March 16, 2026 Duration: 44:34

What happens when the life you built no longer fits who you are — or the world no longer feels safe for your family? In this episode, Jaimie sits down with TJ Shimeld to talk about coming out after marriage, building an unconventional but beautiful co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife, raising a transgender daughter, and ultimately making the life-changing decision to leave the U.S. for Spain.

It’s a conversation about identity, reinvention, grief, freedom, LGBTQ family experiences, and what it means to finally build a life that feels aligned. TJ shares how the 2016 election marked the beginning of a deep unraveling of the “American dream” he thought he was supposed to want — and how that unraveling eventually led him, his husband, and his daughter Opal to a more peaceful, affirming life abroad.


🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Sometimes the life that looks “right” from the outside isn’t the life that fits.
  • Coming out later in life can be painful, liberating, and deeply clarifying.
  • Divorce does not have to mean destruction; it can lead to a different kind of family.
  • Queer and trans safety isn’t theoretical — it shapes daily life, choices, and futures.
  • The feeling of betrayal many LGBTQ+ people experienced after the 2016 election was real and lasting.
  • Finding a place where your family can relax, be seen, and be safe can change everything.
  • Reinvention is possible, even after years of living for everyone else.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

TJ Shimeld is an author, speaker, life coach, and real estate investor currently living in Spain with his husband and daughter. After years of living a life that looked like the “American dream” from the outside, TJ chose a radically different path — one centered on authenticity, healing, and freedom. Today, he helps others navigate transformation, reinvention, and possibility.


🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors

Be Parent Surrogacy Be Parent oversees the creation of family through surrogacy and IVF, from the very beginning, extending support even well after birth. Mention The Queer Family Podcast to receive $2000 of your treatment! 

🏳️‍🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com


🎧 Loved this episode?

Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!

OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:

🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content


🏳️‍🌈 What resonated most with you?

Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!

🏳️‍🌈 Let’s Connect!

Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️‍🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube

🏳️‍🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book 

🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️‍🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️‍🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website


🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Outdoorsy and use my code QUEERFAM for a great deal: https://www.outdoorsy.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hosted by queer mom Jaimie Kelton, The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories offers a weekly space that is both uproariously funny and deeply genuine. Each episode features conversations with LGBTQIA+ parents, hopeful parents, and their allies, delving into the specific joys and hurdles of building a family outside of traditional frameworks. You’ll hear firsthand accounts of the paths to parenthood-from adoption and fostering to IVF and surrogacy-and the everyday realities of raising kids in a world that can still feel unfamiliar. This podcast moves beyond theory, focusing on lived experiences that cover everything from health and fitness routines that work for queer families to navigating complex conversations about sexuality and society with children. The goal is straightforward: to share stories that normalize these experiences, elevate diverse voices, and celebrate the full spectrum of queer family life. Tuning in means connecting with a community, finding resonance in shared challenges, and gathering a lot of practical wisdom-and laughter-along the way. It’s a resource and a companion for anyone curious about or living within the beautifully expansive definition of a modern family.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 100

The Queer Family Podcast – LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories
Podcast Episodes
Two Dads, Three Years of Adoption, and a Surrogacy Miracle [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 57:26
What happens when the path you thought you were on… just doesn’t work out?This week, we’re talking to Phil and Jonathan—two dads who spent three years in the adoption process before realizing it might not be how they’d b…
A Very Real Family Update [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:29
This week’s episode is a little different—and very real.When a scheduled guest wasn’t ready to share their story, Jaimie and her wife Anne stepped in for an impromptu, unfiltered check-in on their own lives. Recorded in…
Foster to Adopt as a Gay Dad: Jameel Mayers’ Path to Parenthood [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 59:52
Jaimie sits down with fellow podcaster Jameel Mayers, host of Fathernetics, to talk about his journey to fatherhood through the foster-to-adopt system.Jameel shares the emotional realities of fostering, the challenges of…
Surrogacy for Gay Dads: Cost, Ethics & Building a Family [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 54:39
Jaimie sits down with Daniel Berezowsky to talk about his and his husband’s journey to parenthood through surrogacy — and how their work in human rights shaped every step.They share the emotional and financial realities…
Lesbian IVF Journey: From Infertility to Double Donor Twins [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:02
Building a family didn’t happen the way same sex parents Sarah and Beth originally imagined. What began as a straightforward plan unfolded into miscarriage, multiple rounds of IUI, IVF, and ultimately the realization tha…