From Lesbian Community to Trans Elder: Reid Vanderburgh’s Story

From Lesbian Community to Trans Elder: Reid Vanderburgh’s Story

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. August 17, 2026 Duration: 41:31

Reid Vanderburgh spent more than 20 years living in lesbian community before realizing he was trans. More than 30 years later, he's a retired therapist, author, stepfather, chosen grandfather, and proud trans elder.

Reid joins Jaimie to talk about finding the language to understand yourself, becoming the therapist he once needed, and why younger generations give him hope. They also explore chosen family, the power of representation, and what Reid calls the most important relationship he ever found—the one with himself.

It's a conversation about identity, belonging, empathy, and the gift of becoming who you are.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Representation gives us the language to understand ourselves.
  • There's no one "right" way—or timeline—to know who you are.
  • Believe people when they tell you who they are.
  • Sometimes the most important relationship is the one you build with yourself.
  • Our identities can be gifts, not burdens.
  • Chosen family can change—and save—lives.
  • Younger generations aren't creating new identities; they have more freedom to name what's always existed.
  • Progress isn't linear, but Reid's 50+ years in the community give him real hope for what's ahead.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Reid Vanderburgh is a retired therapist, author, trans elder, and longtime LGBTQ+ advocate who transitioned more than 30 years ago. After his own experience with therapists who didn't understand what he was going through, Reid became one of the early openly trans therapists dedicated to serving the trans community, working with hundreds of clients throughout his career. He's also an author, longtime member of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, stepfather, and proud chosen grandfather.

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

https://reidvanderburgh.com/


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Every family has a story, but the paths taken by LGBTQIA+ parents are often uniquely creative, filled with both profound joy and specific hurdles. The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories is a weekly space where those narratives take center stage. Host Jaimie Kelton, a queer mom herself, guides conversations that are as laugh-out-loud funny as they are deeply moving. Each episode features candid interviews with a diverse range of guests, all sharing the intimate details of how they built their families-from adoption and fostering to IVF, surrogacy, and co-parenting. You’ll hear how these families navigate school systems, healthcare, and everyday social situations, tackling challenges with resilience and humor. This podcast digs into the real stuff of queer family life, covering topics across parenting, health, fitness, and sexuality, all through an authentic LGBTQ lens. The goal isn’t just to share stories; it’s to normalize and celebrate the beautiful spectrum of ways to create a home. Tune in for a sense of community, practical insights, and a powerful reminder that family is about love, in all its forms.
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