Building a family didn’t happen the way same sex parents Sarah and Beth originally imagined. What began as a straightforward plan unfolded into miscarriage, multiple rounds of IUI, IVF, and ultimately the realization that neither of them could use their own eggs. They share what it meant to pivot again and again — and how they ultimately welcomed their 13-year-old twin boys through both an egg donor and a sperm donor.
They also talk about approaching donor conception transparency from day one (including Sarah writing her kids a personalized storybook before they were even born), and how puzzles became an unexpected antidote to doomscrolling during politically heavy times — eventually inspiring Artfelt, a puzzle company that commissions and pays LGBTQ+ and BIPOC artists.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Queer infertility can feel uniquely isolating. Sarah names the specific “outside looking in” feeling—then adds the extra layer of navigating it as a queer couple.
- Sometimes the plan changes completely. When neither Sarah nor Beth could use their own eggs, they adapted—ending up with “double donor” twins.
- Tell the story early, then keep updating it. Sarah shares how she introduced their origin story in toddlerhood and revisited it as her kids matured and could understand more.
- Shame-proofing helps everything else. When donor conception is normalized from the start, it creates a foundation for honest conversations later (hello, puberty, consent, all of it).
- Small rituals can be resistance. A puzzle on the table became a way to reconnect as a family, step away from the news cycle, and create something tangible together.
🏳️🌈 About the guest(s)
Sarah Julian is the founder of Artfelt Puzzles, a jigsaw puzzle company that commissions and pays LGBTQ+ and BIPOC artists exclusively, combining art, community, and action by putting money directly back into artists’ hands through licensing and revenue share.
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