What happens when three people intentionally choose to build a family together?
Vikram Kolmannskog is a psychotherapist, writer, and dad raising his four-year-old son with his husband, Daniel, and their son's mother, Cecilia. From finding each other through a queer family forum to navigating home insemination, biology, and the realities of three-parent co-parenting, their path to family is anything but traditional.
Vikram and Jaimie talk about the messy reality of parenting, biological vs. non-biological connection, the pressure to identify the "real" dad, and the deeply ingrained gender roles that still tell us mothers should nurture while fathers should provide.
It's a conversation about rupture and repair, challenging the rules we've inherited, and what queer families can teach us about what really makes someone a parent.
Because family isn't biology. It's love, commitment—and sometimes a whole lot of mess.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Why Vikram and Daniel chose intentional co-parenting
- Finding their child's mother through a queer family forum
- The very queer logistics of making a baby together
- Navigating three-parent co-parenting when reality didn't match the plan
- Biology, non-biological parenting, and the idea of the "real" parent
- Why their family kept biological paternity private for the first year
- The gendered expectations placed on mothers and fathers
- Breastfeeding, formula, and the pressure placed on parents
- How therapy helped their family move through conflict and repair
- Why "messy" has become one of Vikram's favorite words for parenting
🏳️🌈 About the guest(s)
Vikram Kolmannskog is the author of Reflections on Parenting from a Gestalt Therapist Father: Life with Leo, a personal exploration of his first years of parenthood.
🏳️🌈 Resources Mentioned
Vikram’s Website
Vikram’s Instagram
Vikram’s Book
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🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato
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