Known Donor, Reciprocal IVF & Three Kids Later | Vanessa & Jory

Known Donor, Reciprocal IVF & Three Kids Later | Vanessa & Jory

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. June 4, 2026 Duration: 51:37

Vanessa and Jory of @modernfamilynextdoor join the Pride Extravaganza to share their journey from closeted college classmates to raising three children together. They open up about religious shame, coming out to family, known donor conception, reciprocal IVF, difficult pregnancies, and the emotional realities of non-bio parenting in queer families. This conversation is funny, vulnerable, and deeply relatable for anyone navigating LGBTQ family building.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Vanessa and Jory share how growing up religious shaped their experiences with internalized homophobia and delayed coming out.
  • The couple discusses falling in love after meeting in college — despite both initially trying to avoid their attraction to women.
  • They open up about coming out to family members, navigating acceptance, and the emotional impact of feeling like they might lose family relationships.
  • Vanessa and Jory explain how they built their family through known donor conception and later expanded their family through reciprocal IVF.
  • The conversation explores the unique emotional realities of non-bio parenting in queer families, including fears around bonding and identity.
  • Vanessa shares the painful assumptions strangers made about her relationship to her son because she is Mexican and her son is white with red hair.
  • They discuss how little information and representation existed for LGBTQ+ families when they first started trying to conceive in 2015.
  • The episode highlights the intentionality, resilience, and complexity that often comes with queer family building.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Vanessa and Jory are the creators behind @modernfamilynextdoor where they share the realities of raising a queer family online with honesty, humor, and heart. Through their content, Vanessa and Jory have become a source of visibility and representation for other LGBTQ+ families navigating similar journeys.


🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors

California Cryobank Use code QUEERFAM26 for a free level 3 subscription to their donor catalogue!


🏳️‍🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com


🎧 Loved this episode?

Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!

OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:

🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content

🏳️‍🌈 What resonated most with you?

Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!

🏳️‍🌈 Let’s Connect!

Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️‍🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube

🏳️‍🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book 

🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 


🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!



Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-content

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Every family has a story, but the paths taken by LGBTQIA+ parents are often uniquely creative, filled with both profound joy and specific hurdles. The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories is a weekly space where those narratives take center stage. Host Jaimie Kelton, a queer mom herself, guides conversations that are as laugh-out-loud funny as they are deeply moving. Each episode features candid interviews with a diverse range of guests, all sharing the intimate details of how they built their families-from adoption and fostering to IVF, surrogacy, and co-parenting. You’ll hear how these families navigate school systems, healthcare, and everyday social situations, tackling challenges with resilience and humor. This podcast digs into the real stuff of queer family life, covering topics across parenting, health, fitness, and sexuality, all through an authentic LGBTQ lens. The goal isn’t just to share stories; it’s to normalize and celebrate the beautiful spectrum of ways to create a home. Tune in for a sense of community, practical insights, and a powerful reminder that family is about love, in all its forms.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 50

The Queer Family Podcast – LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories
Podcast Episodes
The Secret Test I Give Every Podcast Guest [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:51
Tea Time with Jaimie & Dianni is a subscriber-only bonus series where Jaimie and her friend Dianni sit down for short, fun, unfiltered conversations about their very different queer little lives. It’s casual, behind-the-…
They Raised a Family While Hiding Their Love | The Rainbow Aunties [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:00:03
Wilma and Marilyn—better known as The Rainbow Aunties—have loved each other for more than four decades. But for much of that time, they couldn't live openly as a couple.In this moving conversation, they share how they fe…
Known Donors, IVF & One Very Special Embryo [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 56:47
When Calypso and her wife Nat decided to start their family, they never imagined the twists and turns ahead. From navigating the UK's fertility system and searching for a known donor to traveling internationally for IVF,…
From Closeted Mormons to Gay Dads of Three [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:58
Jake and Sean never expected a conversation on Grindr to lead to marriage, parenthood, and three kids at once.Raised in conservative Mormon families, both men spent years trying to reconcile their faith with their sexual…
Queer Parents, Preteens & Puberty with José Rolón [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:46
The babies aren't babies anymore.In this candid conversation, Jaimie sits down with returning guest and friend José Rolón (NYC Gay Dad) to talk about parenting preteens and teenagers as LGBTQ+ parents. From puberty and e…
Raising Donor-Conceived Kids With Honesty and Pride [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:58
In Part 2 of the conversation with donor conception expert, author, therapist, and podcaster Lisa Schuman, Jaimie flips the roles and asks the questions, diving deep into donor conception, queer family building, and the…
Donor Conception, Pride & Intentional Parenting [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:22
Jaimie sits down with therapist, author, podcaster, and donor conception expert Lisa Schuman. Lisa turns the mic on Jaimie as they explore the origins of The Queer Family Podcast, the emotional realities of donor concept…
Love, Transition & Parenthood with Jake and Hannah Graf [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:02:41
Jaimie and special co-host José Rolón (@nycgaydad) sit down with married couple Jake and Hannah Graf — authors, advocates, and parents of two — to talk about love, transition, intentional family building, and the beautif…
Real Dads Carry Their Babies: Two Trans Dads Build a Family [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:50
Chase and Oliver share their journey to becoming parents as two trans dads navigating IVF, pregnancy, identity, and queer family building.The couple opens up about meeting as lesbians before both later coming out as tran…