Robert and Shannon are “two regular degular schmegular queers” who went from friends… to dating… to buying sperm in just a few months (yes, it’s as lesbian as it sounds). In this episode, they share what it looked like to build a family as a cisgender woman and a transgender man, including the realities of trans fertility, the complicated emotions around fertility preservation, and the deeply values-based way they chose a sperm donor: not for height or Ivy League degrees — but for happiness.
We also talk about raising a donor-conceived toddler with openness from day one, why donor conception is a “muscle” you build with practice (and books), and the moment their two-year-old asked a question that proved it was all starting to click: “Were you there?” Plus: PCOS, the IUI-to-IVF pivot, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), a successful transfer, and what they’re considering as they think about baby #2.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- How a platonic co-parent conversation turned into a relationship — and then a baby plan
- The unique decisions that come up when one partner is trans and family-building involves donor conception
- Robert’s reflections on fertility preservation and “keeping doors open” for other trans folks
- Donor search strategy: face match tools, narrowing choices, and selecting for emotional health
- Why they chose a non–ID disclosure donor — and how they plan to support their child’s autonomy later
- How to talk to kids early (and why it’s not always “organic” at first)
- The “dibling” community question — and what privacy preferences can mean for connection
- PCOS + OHSS + IVF details: egg retrieval numbers, embryo count, and transfer outcome
- Looking ahead: embryos on ice and the hope for a second child
🏳️🌈 About the guest(s)
Robert (a trans dad) and Shannon (a cis mom) built their family through donor conception and IVF after years of friendship turned fast-tracked love story. They’re now raising their donor-conceived daughter with openness, intention, and a shared commitment to happiness above all.
🏳️🌈 Thanks to our sponsors
Be Parent Surrogacy Be Parent oversees the creation of family through surrogacy and IVF, from the very beginning, extending support even well after birth. Mention The Queer Family Podcast to receive $2000 of your treatment!
🏳️🌈 Book with GWK's Spring Break Cruise Vacation! Join Jaimie and her family (and other LGBTQIA+ families) on a 3 night cruise in the Bahamas. Be sure to mention that you heard about it here! Click that link ➡️ https://travelbrilliant.net/mbg/gwk-spring-break-2026
🏳️🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com
🎧 Loved this episode?
Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!
OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:
🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content
🏳️🌈 What resonated most with you?
Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!
🏳️🌈 Let’s Connect!
Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube
🏳️🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book
🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
Support this podcast at —
https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries:
https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out:
https://redcircle.com/privacy
