#283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

#283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

Author: Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability October 15, 2025 Duration: 22:35

In this second part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne continues exploring how parents can guide children through difficult social experiences. Drawing from Chapter Four of the book, he focuses on helping children understand their emotional reactivity when they are teased or excluded. Through the story of a boy named Tony, Kim illustrates how teasing often continues not because of a child’s shortcomings, but because strong reactions feed the behavior of the child teasing them. He explains that when children learn to stay centered, they reclaim their power and reduce the payoff for those who provoke them.

Kim offers practical ways for parents to teach this skill, such as practicing calm reactions at home, planning responses together, and sometimes even using humor to defuse tension. He also acknowledges how painful it can be for children to face these truths and encourages parents to provide reassurance and hope while keeping conversations short, natural, and consistent. Even when children push back or claim they already know what to do, Kim reminds parents to stay close and emotionally steady. The heart of this episode is a message of perseverance. Children to find confidence and strength within themselves, one small step at a time.

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Kim John Payne, author of the bestselling book "Simplicity Parenting," brings his decades of experience as a family counselor and educator directly to you in The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne. Each episode feels like a thoughtful conversation, moving beyond quick tips to explore the deeper rhythms of family life. You’ll hear practical wisdom on reducing the clutter-not just of toys, but of schedules, expectations, and digital noise-that so often overwhelms modern childhood. This podcast delves into how creating a calmer, more predictable home environment can strengthen your child's resilience, focus, and sense of security. Payne addresses real questions from parents, offering grounded strategies for everything from sibling rivalry and screen time to fostering authentic play and emotional well-being. The discussions are rooted in the understanding that simplifying isn't about deprivation, but about making space for connection and growth. Tune in for a supportive, nuanced exploration of parenting that honors the unique spirit of your family. Each weekly episode serves as a gentle reminder that the most meaningful moments often arise from a less hurried, more intentional approach to life together.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne
Podcast Episodes
#258: Getting Our Timing Right [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:59
In this episode we explore how to sense when the moment is right to give a simple day-to-day instruction, or to have one of “those” talks that every parent need to do from time to time. 📓 Discipline & Guidance Care Profe…
#257: Restraint Collapse After the School Day [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:33
In this episode we discuss the concept of restraint collapse and the need for decompression points to help children manage their stress. Kim also emphasizes the importance of setting up a predictable and structured after…
#256: Talking Through Things With Tween & Teens [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:45
When issues come up with tween and teens, how can we have conversations with them that help them feel safe to participate and work things through. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simplicity Parenting Starter Kit 📲 Request a Con…
#255: Exaggerating-Amplifying-Conflating [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:55
In this episode we explore why children can enlarge their accounts of what happened when things went wrong. We break it down to three tendencies and what we can do to help a child gain a better and more accurate perspect…
#254: Why Kids Whine & What We Can Do To Shift the Habit [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:44
Kids who relentlessly complain and whine can often get on a parents nerves no matter how well balanced we are. In this episode we explore why kids whine and what we can do to help them move beyond this habit to feel more…
#253: Turn Hurting Into Helping & Healing Words & Action [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:39
In this episode we explore how to shift hurtful words and actions by calling up the helpful and healing moments that a child, tween or teen brought to those around them, and how this helps us stay well oriented and regul…
#252: How To Avoid Pack up Disasters [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:33
In this episode we explore how to prevent over-helping a child clean up their toys and projects, and how this helps them develop agency and competence that will serve them throughout life. ❤️ Support the Podcast 📑 Simpli…
#251: Talking About Feelings for Children Tweens & Teens [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:44
In this episode we will explore how to talk to children, tweens and teens about their big feelings. We’ll see a simple model that shows you how to guide a young child so that they can ground their feelings and a teen be…
#250: Interview with Steve Biddulph Part Three [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:56
In the last of this three part series Steve walks us through the skill of conversing with this hidden part of yourself that can help with almost any dilemma or situation. You can teach it to small children. It can help a…