#283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

#283: Emotionally Resilient Kids: Part Two - Helping Children Respond to Teasing Without Reacting

Author: Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability October 15, 2025 Duration: 22:35

In this second part of the five-part series on Emotionally Resilient Tweens and Teens, Kim John Payne continues exploring how parents can guide children through difficult social experiences. Drawing from Chapter Four of the book, he focuses on helping children understand their emotional reactivity when they are teased or excluded. Through the story of a boy named Tony, Kim illustrates how teasing often continues not because of a child’s shortcomings, but because strong reactions feed the behavior of the child teasing them. He explains that when children learn to stay centered, they reclaim their power and reduce the payoff for those who provoke them.

Kim offers practical ways for parents to teach this skill, such as practicing calm reactions at home, planning responses together, and sometimes even using humor to defuse tension. He also acknowledges how painful it can be for children to face these truths and encourages parents to provide reassurance and hope while keeping conversations short, natural, and consistent. Even when children push back or claim they already know what to do, Kim reminds parents to stay close and emotionally steady. The heart of this episode is a message of perseverance. Children to find confidence and strength within themselves, one small step at a time.

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Kim John Payne, author of the bestselling book "Simplicity Parenting," brings his decades of experience as a family counselor and educator directly to you in The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne. Each episode feels like a thoughtful conversation, moving beyond quick tips to explore the deeper rhythms of family life. You’ll hear practical wisdom on reducing the clutter-not just of toys, but of schedules, expectations, and digital noise-that so often overwhelms modern childhood. This podcast delves into how creating a calmer, more predictable home environment can strengthen your child's resilience, focus, and sense of security. Payne addresses real questions from parents, offering grounded strategies for everything from sibling rivalry and screen time to fostering authentic play and emotional well-being. The discussions are rooted in the understanding that simplifying isn't about deprivation, but about making space for connection and growth. Tune in for a supportive, nuanced exploration of parenting that honors the unique spirit of your family. Each weekly episode serves as a gentle reminder that the most meaningful moments often arise from a less hurried, more intentional approach to life together.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne
Podcast Episodes
#329: Tone and Timing Coaching: The 1, 2, 3 Approach [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:42
In this episode, Kim John Payne introduces “tone and timing coaching," a simple way to help children (and ourselves) get the tone right when what's said comes out rude, fresh, aggressive, or grumpy. He explains that the…
#325: Children & Mortality [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:20
In this episode, Kim John Payne addresses one of the more difficult themes parents face: a child's growing awareness of life and death. He explains that very young children experience only a little separation between the…
#324: The Three Steps To Small, Imaginative & Light Transitions [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:22
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#320: The Space Between Us Is Alive... Trust It [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:24
In this episode, Kim John Payne reflects on something elusive but essential: the space between parent and child. He describes this space as being alive, not a void to be filled with words or busyness, but a conduit throu…
#316: Easing Tension Around Homework & Music Practice [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:54
In this episode, Kim John Payne addresses the daily challenge of getting children to do difficult but regular tasks like music practice and homework. He introduces the "grit sandwich" principle: soft on both ends with fi…
#312: Balancing a Child's Needs and the Family's Needs [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:26
In this episode, Kim John Payne addresses a common point of derailment in family life: when a child's impulses and desires collide with the needs of the larger family. He explains that children, especially young ones, la…
#311: Am I a Governer or an Adviser [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:13
In this episode, Kim John Payne offers a quick overview of the Soul of Discipline framework and then focuses on a common confusion in the early years: the difference between being a governor and being an advisor. He expl…
#303: Going on a News Cleanse [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:34
In this episode, Kim John Payne addresses how constant news exposure erodes our ability to be present with our children. He explains that modern news cycles, with autoplay, doom scrolling, and half-hourly updates, repeat…
#299: If Rhythms Need To Change [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 9:17
In this episode, Kim John Payne explores how families can navigate changes in rhythms while still preserving the security that predictability provides. He explains that when a regular caregiver is unavailable for bath ti…