#291: Saying, Feeling & Doing Sorry

#291: Saying, Feeling & Doing Sorry

Author: Kim John Payne/Center for Social Sustainability December 18, 2025 Duration: 11:37

In this monthly episode of Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne explores the difference between asking children to say sorry and helping them genuinely make things right. While acknowledging that saying sorry has value, Kim cautions against forcing apologies, which often leads to defensiveness, shame, or empty words. Instead, he invites parents to look beneath the apology and focus on what truly matters: a child recognizing that something crossed a family value and taking responsibility in a way that feels real and restorative. When children feel pressured or shamed, Kim explains, they are far more likely to deny or resist rather than reflect.

Kim introduces the idea of “doing sorry” as an alternative and often more meaningful path. This might include repairing harm through actions, offering something meaningful to the other child, or simply showing genuine remorse through presence and emotion. He describes three forms of apology: saying sorry, feeling sorry, and doing sorry, and emphasizes that any combination of these can be appropriate. By giving children time to calm down and guiding them gently toward repair, parents help them develop empathy and accountability without humiliation. The episode reminds listeners that true reconciliation grows from connection, not coercion.

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Kim John Payne, author of the bestselling book "Simplicity Parenting," brings his decades of experience as a family counselor and educator directly to you in The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne. Each episode feels like a thoughtful conversation, moving beyond quick tips to explore the deeper rhythms of family life. You’ll hear practical wisdom on reducing the clutter-not just of toys, but of schedules, expectations, and digital noise-that so often overwhelms modern childhood. This podcast delves into how creating a calmer, more predictable home environment can strengthen your child's resilience, focus, and sense of security. Payne addresses real questions from parents, offering grounded strategies for everything from sibling rivalry and screen time to fostering authentic play and emotional well-being. The discussions are rooted in the understanding that simplifying isn't about deprivation, but about making space for connection and growth. Tune in for a supportive, nuanced exploration of parenting that honors the unique spirit of your family. Each weekly episode serves as a gentle reminder that the most meaningful moments often arise from a less hurried, more intentional approach to life together.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

The Simplicity Parenting Podcast with Kim John Payne
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