#12: Distraction & Self-Soothing to Ride out Painful Emotions

#12: Distraction & Self-Soothing to Ride out Painful Emotions

Author: Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center September 4, 2019 Duration: 40:15

Marielle and Ed continue their conversation about Distress Tolerance focusing on Distraction and Self-Soothing. While these skills won't solve any problems, they can be super helpful when you are caught up in painful emotions. 

Distraction in DBT is broken down into separate skills that go by the acronym ACCEPTS (as in Wise Mind ACCEPTS).

Show Highlights:

  • Choosing distraction is very different than unconsciously avoiding
  • Sometimes it's wise to not fully experience your emotions
  • These skills can be used when you have a strong urge to fix a problem immediately
  • You can also use these skills when you feel an urge to engage in a behavior you are trying to stop
  • A - Activities
  • C - Contributing
  • C - Comparisons
  • E - Emotions
  • P - Pushing Away
  • T - Thoughts
  • S - Sensations
  • Different activities redirect your attention to something else - away from the painful emotion
  • Figuring out what activities hold your attention when you're upset
  • Contributing can have a secondary benefit of creating a sense of purpose or meaning in your life.
  • Comparing our pain to others can put our pain in perspective
  • Comparing your current situation to other hard times in your life can help you feel like you can get through
  • To use emotions to distract, first figure out what you are feeling and then do something that evokes a different emotion
  • Pushing away is shutting out or blocking your painful emotion
  • Self-Soothing with your five senses: sight, sound, taste, touch and smell

Resources:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

SUDs (Subjective Units of Distress) Scale

Ask Us a Question!

We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.


Hosted by the clinicians at the Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center, The Skillful Podcast is a practical guide for anyone feeling stuck in their emotional patterns or relationships. Instead of abstract theory, each episode breaks down tangible skills from two powerful frameworks: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT (RO-DBT). You'll hear straightforward explanations of concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, but also learn about the often-overlooked skills of openness, flexibility, and social connectedness that RO-DBT emphasizes. The focus is always on application-how to take these ideas off the therapist's couch and weave them into your daily interactions and internal world. Whether navigating personal stress, a challenging conversation, or the pursuit of a more fulfilling life, this podcast offers concrete tools to try in real time. It’s a resource for building resilience from the inside out, episode by episode. Tuning in feels less like a lecture and more like a thoughtful consultation, where complex psychological wisdom is translated into actionable steps for reducing suffering and fostering deeper connections with others and yourself.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 61

The Skillful Podcast
Podcast Episodes
#31: Self-Soothing Revisited [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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#30: What Happens When You Have an Emotion [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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Today, Marielle and Ed unpack what happens in the body and mind when an emotion occurs. There's actually a lot going on! If you are sensitive to or are confused by your emotions, it can be helpful to have an understandin…
#29: Using DBT Skills in Anti-Racist Work [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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Today Marielle and Ed offer ways to use DBT skills to support emotional equilibrium during a time where systemic anti-black racism is being confronted and discussed in new and necessary ways. This episode is not about ho…
#28: Listener Questions [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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Today Marielle and Ed answer listener questions. The first question is from a listener in Sweden about how to cope with anger at others for not taking the COVID-19 pandemic seriously. Question two is about how to use DEA…
#27: Radical Acceptance During a Pandemic [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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#25: Coping With COVID-19 [Part 2] [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:24
Today, Marielle and Ed continue to discuss DBT skills to cope during a pandemic. We are all going through a collective trauma and need extra support. The DBT skill called Check The Facts is explored. We also explore the…
#24: Coping With COVID-19 [Part 1] [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 38:55
In today's episode, Marielle and Ed explore skills to help you cope with your emotions as we collectively face a pandemic. Many of you may be feeling intense distress on a regular basis during these uncertain times. DBT…
#23: Pros and Cons [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:57
Today's show covers the DBT skill called Pros and Cons. While most of us have already done informal pro and con lists in our heads when facing a tough decision, the DBT take on Pros and Cons is a little different. Pros a…
#22:  Build Mastery and Cope Ahead [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:24
In today's episode, Marielle and Ed discuss the emotion regulation skills of Build Mastery and Cope Ahead. These are future-oriented skills that involve some planning to carry out. Build Mastery is a way to strengthen yo…