Today Marielle and Ed discuss the 10 most common myths about emotions. These myths can come from the culture around us and from the families we were raised in. Asking yourself where you learned some of these myths may be helpful in debunking them. Some myths have to do with a fear of being out of control with emotions and other myths are more about equating emotions with the truth of who you are.
Show Highlights:
Myth 1: Having strong emotions means I am out of control.
- Feeling the emotion and the behavior get conflated
- It can feel like strong emotion automatically equals out of control behavior
- Intense emotion can be very physical
- Taking action on our strong emotion makes it feel out of control
Myth 2: If I start crying, I'm never gonna stop.
- We always start crying, often sooner than we think
- Under all circumstances, we do eventually stop crying
Myth 3: I need to push down my anger or it will become dangerous.
- Anger also has a life-span, if we let it move through us it will dissipate
- We can feel angry and not act on it in a dangerous way
- We have a lot of power over how to handle our own anger
Myth 4: If I am feeling very emotional, I must do something to change it.
- Emotions give us information
- We don't necessarily need to change emotions
Myth 5: Reason is better than emotion.
- Another way of stating this myth is: it's always better to be rational than emotional
- Sometimes it sounds appealing to not have emotions
- Emotions connect us to others
Myth 6: Emotions can just happen for no reason.
- Emotions are a response to something even if we don't know what that is
- If you're having a strong emotional response, it's a signal to do a little exploring
Myth 7: I am my emotions.
- We are so much more than our emotions
- It's not uncommon to feel more than one emotion at once
- If you are basing your identity on your emotions, it will be hard to have a stable sense of self because our emotions are in continual flux
Myth 8: It's inauthentic to try to change or question my emotions.
- Sometimes it's not effective to feel or act on an emotion
- Sometimes our emotions are not aligned with our goals or values so the most authentic thing to do is to work to change it
- Our emotions don't always fit the facts
Myth 9: My emotions speak the absolute truth.
- Sometimes our strong emotions are based on interpretations or assumptions rather than actual facts
- Just because you feel something doesn't mean it's true
Myth 10: I need to be very emotional to be creative.
- Emotions help support creativity but we don't have to be overwhelmed by emotions to be creative
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