#19: What are Your Values?

#19: What are Your Values?

Author: Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center January 8, 2020 Duration: 33:49

Instead of making New Year's resolutions this year, think about using the momentum of the new year to make changes in your life that are aligned with your values. 

Often New Year's resolutions come from a place of shame or deficiency, a place of trying to fix what's "wrong" with you. What if you made changes in your life based on what's most important to you rather than "fixing" what's wrong? This is where values come in.

The DBT skill called Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Long Term can help you experience more positive emotions more often by aligning your life with your values. In today's episode, Marielle and Ed take a deep dive into the skill.

Show Highlights

  • Access your Wise Mind when assessing your values
  • What's actually important to you vs. what you think SHOULD be important
  • Your values and priorities can shift as you go through different seasons in your life
  • This skill outlines a step by step process to make your values a reality in your life
  • Avoid avoiding 
  • Pick one value to focus on at a time
  • Identify a few goals related to this value 
  • Bite-size action steps
  • Take action!

 

Links & Resources

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

Ask Us a Question!

We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

To learn more about DBT and therapy in general, read our blog.


Hosted by the clinicians at the Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center, The Skillful Podcast is a practical guide for anyone feeling stuck in their emotional patterns or relationships. Instead of abstract theory, each episode breaks down tangible skills from two powerful frameworks: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT (RO-DBT). You'll hear straightforward explanations of concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, but also learn about the often-overlooked skills of openness, flexibility, and social connectedness that RO-DBT emphasizes. The focus is always on application-how to take these ideas off the therapist's couch and weave them into your daily interactions and internal world. Whether navigating personal stress, a challenging conversation, or the pursuit of a more fulfilling life, this podcast offers concrete tools to try in real time. It’s a resource for building resilience from the inside out, episode by episode. Tuning in feels less like a lecture and more like a thoughtful consultation, where complex psychological wisdom is translated into actionable steps for reducing suffering and fostering deeper connections with others and yourself.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 61

The Skillful Podcast
Podcast Episodes
#10: The TIPP Skill: Using Your Body to Calm Down [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:27
Marielle and Ed continue their conversation about Distress Tolerance focusing on the TIPP skill. That extra P in TIPP isn't a typo! TIPP is an acronym that actually stands for 4 different skills. The skills in TIPP inter…
#9: Introduction to Distress Tolerance & the STOP Skill [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:13
Marielle and Ed delve into a discussion today on how you can learn to tolerate emotional distress and overwhelm without making things worse. There's a whole range of behaviors that we can learn, from mindfulness to using…
#8: Emotional Over-Control with Neil Howell, MFT [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:27
Are you someone who's good at getting things done, following the rules and planning ahead? These can be wonderful traits to have but you may notice that focusing on doing everything right interferes with relaxing, enjoyi…
#7: Understanding Validation in Relationships and Why We All Need It [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:52
Do you know how important it is to feel validated? Validation lets us know that we have been heard and understood. We all have the need to be understood by others, especially those closest to us. Today Marielle and Ed di…
#6: Get What You Want by Using the GIVE and FAST Skills of DBT [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:35
Would you like to learn how to ask for what you want, how to resolve a conflict, and how to have your opinion taken seriously in your relationships? Today, Marielle and Ed will be expanding on the interpersonal effective…
#5: Using the DEARMAN Framework to Say No [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:47
Do you find it hard to say 'no', or get what you want in your relationships? Today, Marielle and Ed will be talking about interpersonal effectiveness. The interpersonal effectiveness skills in DBT are practical and they…
#4: The HOW Skills of Mindfulness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:20
Would you like to introduce a mindfulness practice into your daily routine? Today, Ed joins Marielle once again and they continue talking about the mindfulness skills in DBT. In today's episode, they discuss what you act…
#3: The "What" Skills of Mindfulness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:54
Would you like to learn to practice mindfulness in the DBT framework? Today, Marielle and Ed will be discussing the three 'what' skills of mindfulness. These are called 'what' skills because they are what you actually do…
#2: Introduction to Mindfulness and the Wise Mind [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:15
Would you like to know more about DBT and where it all started? In today's episode, Marielle and Ed will be looking into the background and development of DBT. They will discuss dialectics and the concept of Wise Mind an…
#1: What is Emotional Dysregulation? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:32
Are you highly sensitive? And do you struggle with very intense emotions that sometimes overwhelm you? Today, for the first episode of The Skillful Podcast, Marielle will be talking to Ed Fowler, who works with her at th…