5: You’re Not a Saint — You’re Just Scared

5: You’re Not a Saint — You’re Just Scared

Author: Vanessa Ruiz November 5, 2025 Duration: 25:44
Let’s get one thing straight — staying in a relationship just to look like the “nice one” isn’t selfless, it’s self-sabotage. 💅

In this episode, Vanessa calls out the truth we all avoid: sometimes we hide behind kindness because we’re too scared to face the unknown. We tell ourselves we’re staying to protect someone, when really, we’re just protecting our own ego.

Yes — there are exceptions. If your partner is sick, if they physically need your care, that’s love and loyalty. But staying because you think they’ll crumble without you? That’s not compassion. That’s control wrapped in fear.

Vanessa breaks down how to stop playing the martyr, start honoring your truth, and finally walk away from what no longer serves your growth. Inspired by the teachings of Esther Perel and Abraham Hicks, this episode is your permission slip to stop calling suffering “love” and start choosing alignment.

💭 Because you’re not doing anyone a favor by staying small — including yourself.


Vanessa is a lot of things: a first-generation Latina, a single mom, a life coach, and someone who’s learned that healing isn't a quiet, polite process. In Unicorns Do Exist, she brings all those identities to the microphone, creating a space that feels like a candid conversation with a close friend who’s been through it. You’ll hear her break down stigmas around mental health and share stories of heartbreak not as endings, but as turning points. The real talk here is grounded in the belief that owning every part of your journey-the messy, the painful, the glorious-is where true transformation begins. This podcast is a blend of personal journal, cultural commentary, and coaching sessions, all woven together with what she calls 'cheesemé'-that perfect mix of heartfelt cheese and spicy truth. Episodes dive into the realities of building a life on your own terms, especially for those who’ve ever felt marginalized or told they were "too much." It’s about finding the high vibes without bypassing the hard work, and the glow-up that comes from radical self-acceptance. Tuning in, you’re not just getting advice; you’re getting a companion for the ride, a reminder that your unique magic isn't just a fantasy-it's your real, undeniable power waiting to be claimed.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 22

Unicorns Do Exist
Podcast Episodes
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