Episode 161: How Feelings Make Us Feel

Episode 161: How Feelings Make Us Feel

Author: Mr & Mrs Jones's Swinging Adventures August 29, 2026 Duration: 1:28:45

Emotions are having a moment—and they're affecting everything from our broader culture to our most intimate relationships. In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection joins us to explore how fear of uncomfortable feelings, emotional manipulation, codependency, and unregulated emotional expression can influence our decisions and cause harm. These challenges can become even more intense in ethical non-monogamy, where jealousy, insecurity, vulnerability, and uncertainty often bring powerful emotions to the surface. Navigating these adult relationships successfully requires an equally mature ability to understand and manage what we feel.

In this episode we'll examine how emotions are created in the brain, why they are essential, and how "affective realism" can cause us to mistake what we feel for what is objectively true. Kel also shares practical ways to strengthen emotional intelligence and emotional fitness—including noticing and naming feelings, pausing before reacting, separating feelings from facts, and communicating more effectively. Uncomfortable emotions are inevitable, but avoiding them means missing valuable opportunities for growth, deeper self-awareness, and stronger relationships.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Feelings Wheel

How We Feel

Expansive Connection Coaching

Join the We Gotta Thing Community


Ever wondered how a shared adventure might change the view from your own front porch? That’s the space explored in We Gotta Thing-A Swinger Podcast, hosted by a couple who’ve been married for years. As Mr. and Mrs. Jones, they’re not here with a rulebook or a checklist. Instead, each episode unfolds from their own ongoing journey, focusing on how the swinging lifestyle has become a surprising tool for connection and self-discovery within their long-term partnership. You’ll hear their candid reflections on the conversations that happen before, during, and after, tackling everything from navigating jealousy and setting boundaries to the unexpected ways this path has influenced their fitness goals and overall well-being. This podcast is less about instructions and more about exploration-a series of "what if" discussions designed to spark genuine dialogue between partners. It’s for those who are curious, those who are just starting, and those already within the lifestyle who recognize the value of shared stories. By weaving together topics of relationships, sexuality, and personal health with broader cultural perceptions, they offer a grounded, personal narrative. Tune in for honest talk that demystifies and humanizes, helping you and your partner consider where, or if, you might find your own place in such a lifestyle.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

We Gotta Thing - Exploring Non-Monogamy
Podcast Episodes
Episode 151: The Resort- A Gateway to Ethical Non-Monogamy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:00:13
In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into ethical non-monogamy in a new format and market. This property is set o…
Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:12:41
Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection, we break down the key components at play including New Re…
Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:10:05
What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most important characteristics of a power couple in the lifestyle: Be Connected Be…
Episode 148: Reframing Christian Faith and the Lifestyle [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:24:57
Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His…
Episode 147: Safer Sex with STD Hero [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:29:45
One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease. We invited Alan Brock, CEO, and Dr William Budd, Scientific A…
Episode 146: How Relationships Change Over Time [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:15:45
We all know that all relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, will change over time. Many of those changes will lead to the relationship ending. But does it have to end? Why can't the dynamics of a relationship chan…
Episode 145: Ask Us (And Our Friends) Anything [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:23:11
This 'ask us anything' episode was recorded live at our 9th annual group trip to Desire Pearl. Not only did we answer questions but our friends helped us out by contributing as well. Use Promo Code: WGT100 to receive $10…
Episode 144: Lifestyle Coaching in the Aftermath of Loss [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:05:00
As a follow up to our episode 142, we hear from Catherine about how the ending of her marriage is affecting her coaching business at Expansive Connection. Will her clients still trust her as a coach? Has this loss made h…
Episode 143: Swinging & Polyamory- Are We More Alike than We Think? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:29:39
We are joined by Dedeker, Emily and Jase from the Multiamory* podcast to discuss the similarities and differences between the swinging lifestyle and polyamory! We also talk about what exactly New Relationship Energy (NRE…
Episode 142: Catherine's Story- "My Marriage Fell Apart" [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:39:52
This episode gets very real and very personal. Catherine, from Expansive Connection Relationship Coaching, tells her story of how her marriage fell apart while engaged in a non-monogamous relationship with her husband. M…