How to Stop Letting Fear Run Your Life

How to Stop Letting Fear Run Your Life

Author: Anne-Marie Zanzal 1ac1f670-c17c-11f0-806a-ef1502adef07 August 7, 2026 Duration: 31:57

What if fear is not a stop sign but a signal that you are growing?

In this month's first Friday conversation, Anne-Marie is joined by regular guest Anna Empey, business development consultant and LGBTQ+ coach, for an honest look at fear. Not how to get rid of it, because we cannot, but how to stop letting it make our decisions for us.

Together they explore why the brain works so hard to keep us in our comfort zones, even the miserable ones, and why so many women stay in marriages, jobs, and closets for years because familiar feels safer than free. Anna gets wonderfully nerdy about the amygdala and neuroplasticity, explaining how every small brave step literally teaches the brain that change is survivable. Anne-Marie draws on her years as a hospice chaplain, where she sat with thousands of people at the end of life and heard their real regrets. No one ever told her they wished they had stayed more comfortable.

You will also hear why "blowing up your life" is the wrong phrase, how to recognize when practicality is really fear wearing sensible shoes, why the anticipation of coming out is often scarier than the act itself, and Anne-Marie's beloved reframe of coming out as "letting in," where you hold the power to choose who enters your inner circle.

We leave you with one question to sit with this week. Where in your life is fear making your decisions for you? No need to act yet. Notice, and consider your first brave step.

Fear loses its grip in community. When we sit with other women who understand this road from the inside, the fear, the guilt, and the shame all begin to loosen their hold, because shame cannot survive being met with empathy. Both Anne-Marie and Anna are inside Authentically Us, our ongoing community for women navigating identity, coming out, and everything beyond. If you are tired of carrying this alone, we have saved you a seat. Join us at https://community.annemariezanzal.com


It can feel incredibly isolating to question your sexuality after years of living a different story. Coming Out & Beyond Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality Later in Life is a companion for that specific journey, created for those who find themselves navigating these waters from a place of established life-perhaps within a marriage, after a divorce, or while building a family. Host Anne-Marie Zanzal brings her perspective as an ordained minister and hospice chaplain to conversations that gently unravel complex layers of identity, faith, and fear. This podcast delves into the real, often unspoken challenges: confronting compulsory heterosexuality, processing religious or spiritual conditioning, and managing the anxiety of how a personal revelation might ripple through your closest relationships. Episodes offer a blend of personal reflection, insightful interviews, and practical support, focusing on emotional and mental well-being without offering simplistic answers. It’s a space where you can hear stories that resonate with your own, fostering a sense of clarity and community. Tuning in, you’ll find a resource that honors the full spectrum of this experience-the confusion, the liberation, and everything in between-always grounded in compassion and deep understanding.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Coming Out & Beyond | Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality
Podcast Episodes
Should You Run? Unfiltered Sapphic Dating Advice [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:02
This month on Coming Out and Beyond it is our monthly dating and relationship show, and Anne-Marie is joined by her co-coach Barbara Rowlandson, a psychotherapist and dating coach, and her wife Tonda McKay. Before the qu…
🚩 The Signs We Only See Now: Were We Ever Really Straight? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:00
This month's episode with Anna Empey is the one we have all earned after a tender chapter of heavier conversations. It is lighter, there is a lot of laughing, and it is about the signs. Not the ones we noticed at the tim…
Straight Women Don't Lie Awake Wondering if They're Gay [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:22
This is the start of something new. The episodes you have told us you love most are the ones where the three of us sit down together, so we are making them a monthly gathering. Once a month, Tonda, Barbara, and I will op…
Coming Out at 39: When the Puzzle Pieces Finally Fit [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:53
Some mornings change everything. Marissa Mitchell was 39, a teacher and army veteran in southern Indiana, married to her junior high sweetheart and quietly certain that the distance she felt in her marriage was a problem…
High Libidos, Straight Girl Crushes & Coming Out Later [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:14
It is the second Friday of the month, which means Anne-Marie is back with the company she loves most: her fellow coach Barbara Rowlandson and her wife Tonda McKay. This is the monthly conversation so many of you tell us…
The Boy Who Skated Anyway: Stef Vachon's Story [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:45
Content note: This conversation includes language that references homophobic slurs and a discussion of suicidal ideation and mental health struggles. Please listen with care, and reach out for support if you need it.What…
Real Talk on Sapphic Dating and Relationships [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:08
It is the second Friday of the month, which means Anne-Marie is joined by dating coach Barbara Rowlandson and Nashville photographer Tonda McKay, to talk all things sapphic dating and relationships. This month the trio t…
🏳️‍🌈Allyship That Truly Matters [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:09
When you come out to someone, you learn very quickly to tell the difference between the half embrace and the full embrace. The half embrace turns the conversation back to your husband, your children, your family system w…