Your Sapphic Dating Dilemmas, Answered with Love (and Zero Filter)

This month we return to our lesbian dating and relationship conversation, the one we share on the second Friday of every month, and by popular request Tonda is back at the table!

Anne-Marie is joined by her wife, Tonda McKay, our longtime out lesbian and resident truth teller, and by Barbara Rowlandson, fellow coach and the woman who helps lead our Authentically Us community. Together we work through four real questions pulled from the Lesbian Dating Advice subreddit, and the conversation moves from laughing out loud to genuinely tender.

We start with the question so many of us know by heart, is my barista flirting with me, and we talk about strategic ambiguity, the cognitive itch that turns a maybe into a crush, and why two women who like each other can sit in a room and say nothing at all. From there we look at a girlfriend whose closest bond is with her straight married best friend, and we ask the harder question underneath the jealousy, are your needs being met in this relationship. We sit with a heartbreaking note from someone whose partner ended things out of religious guilt, and Anne-Marie and Tonda speak plainly about internalized shame, the cost of loving someone who is still in the closet, and the truth that you can be both gay and beloved by the Divine. We close with the "break" at seven months that is really a breakup, the anxious and avoidant dance, and Barbara's reminder that if someone tells you that you are too much, you are free to go find less.

A few invitations from this episode. If you are wrestling with the clobber passages and the old messages about faith and sexuality, we point you toward the resources at Cathedral of Hope in Dallas, a UCC congregation that does this work with real care: https://www.cathedralofhope.com/

If this season of your life has a catalyst of its own, Barbara and Anne-Marie created The Catalyst Chapter, a course to help you understand why this work can feel so hard and so holy, and you can find it inside Authentically Us and on the Anne-Marie Zanzal Coaching website, https://annemariezanzal.com/

We taped this on the first of June, so wherever you are, we hope you find your way to some community and some queer joy this Pride month, and if it is safe and right for you, we hope you let yourself be seen. We are so glad you are here!