U-Haul University: Stood Up, Stressed Out & Still Looking for Love!

U-Haul University: Stood Up, Stressed Out & Still Looking for Love!

Author: Anne-Marie Zanzal 1ac1f670-c17c-11f0-806a-ef1502adef07 February 14, 2026 Duration: 46:35

🔥 Ever get all dressed up for a date... and they never show? Ever wonder if you're too old for love at 43? Ever think maybe lesbian dating culture is just... toxic?

Girl, pull up a chair. We're talking about ALL of it in this episode — and trust us, you're not alone.

📞 FEELING STUCK IN YOUR DATING LIFE?


Dating is hard enough without doing it alone. If you're a sapphic woman feeling stuck, frustrated, or just plain lost when it comes to dating — whether you're freshly out, freshly heartbroken, or somewhere in between — let's chat.


Book a FREE connection call with Barbara — no pressure, no judgment, just a lesbian therapist/coach/guide who has been there and can help you have a successful dating life.


👉 Book Your Free Call Here

What We're Covering This Week:

This week, Anne-Marie and Barbara Rowlandson are back with another round of Reddit questions from sapphic women navigating the beautiful, messy, maddening world of queer dating. These posts hit close to home:

🌈 Is lesbian dating culture actually toxic? Spoiler: No. We're talking about why what feels uniquely lesbian is really just uniquely human — and why pathologizing our community doesn't help anyone.

❤️ What to do when your girlfriend brushes off arguments that leave you spinning. Hint: It's about attachment styles and communication, not your queerness. (And "we never fight" isn't the flex you think it is.)

💔 The woman who got stood up on date three. Dressed up, dinner reservation made, Sephora closed for emotional shopping — the whole bit. We're sending her all the love.

🌸 A tough-love conversation with a 43-year-old who thinks she's too old for love. We're unpacking the stories we inherit and how beliefs like "there aren't enough good people out there" can quietly run your whole dating life.

💕 The sweetest question about first-time intimacy. Why excitement, not nervousness, is way more common than you'd think — and how to make your partner feel safe and comfortable.

If you've ever wondered whether the intensity of your feelings means something's wrong, or if your dating struggles are a "lesbian thing" or a "human thing," this one's for you.

💬 JOIN THE AUTHENTICALLY US COMMUNITY

Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Whether you're deconstructing messages from a conservative faith tradition, experiencing divorce-related guilt, or struggling with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you.

Monthly subscription: $39/month

👉 Join Authentically Us

💬 GOT YOUR OWN SAPPHIC DATING DILEMMA?

We want to hear from you! Share your dating question or story, and we might feature it on our next episode of U-Haul University.

🔗 CONNECT WITH US

Website: annemariezanzal.com

Facebook: facebook.com/amzanzal

Instagram: @annemariezanzalcoaching

Twitter: twitter.com/annemariezanzal

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annemariezanzalpurposefulempowerment

🎧 LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

Apple Podcasts: Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories

Spotify: Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories


Grab your headphones, maybe a glass of wine, and come sit with us. You're not doing this dating thing alone anymore.


It can feel incredibly isolating to question your sexuality after years of living a different story. Coming Out & Beyond Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality Later in Life is a companion for that specific journey, created for those who find themselves navigating these waters from a place of established life-perhaps within a marriage, after a divorce, or while building a family. Host Anne-Marie Zanzal brings her perspective as an ordained minister and hospice chaplain to conversations that gently unravel complex layers of identity, faith, and fear. This podcast delves into the real, often unspoken challenges: confronting compulsory heterosexuality, processing religious or spiritual conditioning, and managing the anxiety of how a personal revelation might ripple through your closest relationships. Episodes offer a blend of personal reflection, insightful interviews, and practical support, focusing on emotional and mental well-being without offering simplistic answers. It’s a space where you can hear stories that resonate with your own, fostering a sense of clarity and community. Tuning in, you’ll find a resource that honors the full spectrum of this experience-the confusion, the liberation, and everything in between-always grounded in compassion and deep understanding.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Coming Out & Beyond | Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality
Podcast Episodes
Should You Run? Unfiltered Sapphic Dating Advice [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:02
This month on Coming Out and Beyond it is our monthly dating and relationship show, and Anne-Marie is joined by her co-coach Barbara Rowlandson, a psychotherapist and dating coach, and her wife Tonda McKay. Before the qu…
🚩 The Signs We Only See Now: Were We Ever Really Straight? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:00
This month's episode with Anna Empey is the one we have all earned after a tender chapter of heavier conversations. It is lighter, there is a lot of laughing, and it is about the signs. Not the ones we noticed at the tim…
Straight Women Don't Lie Awake Wondering if They're Gay [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:22
This is the start of something new. The episodes you have told us you love most are the ones where the three of us sit down together, so we are making them a monthly gathering. Once a month, Tonda, Barbara, and I will op…
Coming Out at 39: When the Puzzle Pieces Finally Fit [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:53
Some mornings change everything. Marissa Mitchell was 39, a teacher and army veteran in southern Indiana, married to her junior high sweetheart and quietly certain that the distance she felt in her marriage was a problem…
High Libidos, Straight Girl Crushes & Coming Out Later [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:14
It is the second Friday of the month, which means Anne-Marie is back with the company she loves most: her fellow coach Barbara Rowlandson and her wife Tonda McKay. This is the monthly conversation so many of you tell us…
How to Stop Letting Fear Run Your Life [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 31:57
What if fear is not a stop sign but a signal that you are growing?In this month's first Friday conversation, Anne-Marie is joined by regular guest Anna Empey, business development consultant and LGBTQ+ coach, for an hone…
The Boy Who Skated Anyway: Stef Vachon's Story [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:45
Content note: This conversation includes language that references homophobic slurs and a discussion of suicidal ideation and mental health struggles. Please listen with care, and reach out for support if you need it.What…
Real Talk on Sapphic Dating and Relationships [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:08
It is the second Friday of the month, which means Anne-Marie is joined by dating coach Barbara Rowlandson and Nashville photographer Tonda McKay, to talk all things sapphic dating and relationships. This month the trio t…