Overcoming a false start

Overcoming a false start

Author: Jane Beddall February 20, 2025 Duration: 4:36

A false start in a conflict situation can appear in different ways. We can create a conflict where none existed or when we make a good faith attempt to resolve a conflict. Of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A concept so fundamental that it was the focus of Episode 11, way back on March 13, 2019.  But if a false start has occurred, remember and take advantage of the fact of the false start – emphasis on “start”. So, let’s start over. If you made an honest mistake, try an old-fashioned apology. Explain, if you can, what went wrong.   If the other person refuses to engage with you and says so, consider offering a cooling-off period of some specific duration.  An agreement to try again at a certain time or date. Take a break, a breather, a pause.  If it’s just crickets, no response at all, think about a good length for a breather – from your perspective and the other person’s, too – and pick it. Take the initiative to try again at the end of that pause.   It’s just the start. Too soon to give up. Worth it to try again and do what you can to set up for a better result. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

 


In a world where disagreements often feel like dead ends, Crafting Solutions to Conflict offers a different path-one built on practical tools and a genuinely constructive mindset. Hosted by Jane Beddall, whose background in both law and mediation brings a unique depth to the conversation, this podcast moves beyond theory to the everyday realities of navigating tension. You’ll hear discussions that reframe conflict not as something to dread, but as a potential catalyst for stronger connections and better outcomes, whether at home, in the workplace, or within your community. Each episode feels like a thoughtful dialogue, unpacking familiar yet challenging concepts. Jane guides listeners through ideas like addressing the ‘elephants in the room,’ finding ways to ‘expand the pie’ for mutual gain, and understanding why ‘cookie-cutter’ solutions often fall short. The focus is consistently on preserving valued relationships by preventing unnecessary damage and resolving issues that do arise with clarity and respect. Tuning into this podcast provides more than just advice; it’s an ongoing exploration of how to build and restore harmony through intentional communication. If you’re looking for actionable perspectives that blend wisdom from the realms of society, business, and personal growth, you’ll find a trusted resource here.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Crafting Solutions to Conflict
Podcast Episodes
Evaluative, facilitative, transformative: three types of mediation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:22
In mediation, an impartial person helps the people involved to reach an agreement that works for them. Mediation is often said to consist of three main types.Some mediators stick quite closely to one approach. Others fee…
And then you get ready to pivot [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:13
Last time, I talked about the virtue of making a plan. The situation isn’t good. Bad conflict is brewing. You have decided that it’s time for a chat.You want this chat to be productive. So how do you set up for success?…
First you make a plan [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:27
Let’s imagine for a moment that you have decided that it’s time for a conversation, chat, or discussion.One way to work through the set-up is to break it down. Why? Who? When? How? Where? What? Giving careful thought to…
Conversations, chats, discussions… [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:23
We send a message by the language we use. In my work, some people don’t want to engage in mediation because they feel the connotation is too negative. But they are comfortable with the idea that I would be that trained,…
Chuck Wisner on The Art of Conscious Conversations [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:06
Chuck Wisner joins me to talk about his book, The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming how we talk, listen, and interact. We discuss four conversations that help us become conscious of our internal and external d…
NVC – Connecting compassionately with ourselves [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:30
Here’s a quote from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s book, Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, that sums up Connecting Compassionately With Ourselves: “When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult…
NVC – avoiding communication that blocks compassion [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:42
Dr. Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of Nonviolent Communication – or NVC. His book, Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, begins with this quote, capturing the fundamental premise of NVC: “What I want in…
Ruschelle Khanna on Inherited Trauma and Family Wealth [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:25
Ruschelle Khanna joins me to talk about her book, Inherited Trauma and Family Wealth: A Guide to Heal Your Relationships and Build a Lasting Legacy. We talk about her work as a family therapist and the four pillars of he…
Building on your strengths [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:29
Two weeks ago, I published a conversation with Russell Harvey. We talked about his work and, specifically, his belief that resilience can mean more than simply bouncing back but springing forward – with learning. He brou…