Overcoming a false start

Overcoming a false start

Author: Jane Beddall February 20, 2025 Duration: 4:36

A false start in a conflict situation can appear in different ways. We can create a conflict where none existed or when we make a good faith attempt to resolve a conflict. Of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A concept so fundamental that it was the focus of Episode 11, way back on March 13, 2019.  But if a false start has occurred, remember and take advantage of the fact of the false start – emphasis on “start”. So, let’s start over. If you made an honest mistake, try an old-fashioned apology. Explain, if you can, what went wrong.   If the other person refuses to engage with you and says so, consider offering a cooling-off period of some specific duration.  An agreement to try again at a certain time or date. Take a break, a breather, a pause.  If it’s just crickets, no response at all, think about a good length for a breather – from your perspective and the other person’s, too – and pick it. Take the initiative to try again at the end of that pause.   It’s just the start. Too soon to give up. Worth it to try again and do what you can to set up for a better result. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

 


In a world where disagreements often feel like dead ends, Crafting Solutions to Conflict offers a different path-one built on practical tools and a genuinely constructive mindset. Hosted by Jane Beddall, whose background in both law and mediation brings a unique depth to the conversation, this podcast moves beyond theory to the everyday realities of navigating tension. You’ll hear discussions that reframe conflict not as something to dread, but as a potential catalyst for stronger connections and better outcomes, whether at home, in the workplace, or within your community. Each episode feels like a thoughtful dialogue, unpacking familiar yet challenging concepts. Jane guides listeners through ideas like addressing the ‘elephants in the room,’ finding ways to ‘expand the pie’ for mutual gain, and understanding why ‘cookie-cutter’ solutions often fall short. The focus is consistently on preserving valued relationships by preventing unnecessary damage and resolving issues that do arise with clarity and respect. Tuning into this podcast provides more than just advice; it’s an ongoing exploration of how to build and restore harmony through intentional communication. If you’re looking for actionable perspectives that blend wisdom from the realms of society, business, and personal growth, you’ll find a trusted resource here.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Crafting Solutions to Conflict
Podcast Episodes
Satisfying vs. productive [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:00
Satisfying or productive? In a way, an expansion on the idea of stopping yourself from uttering that clever, snarky comeback. Definitely might be satisfying, but unlikely to be productive. More likely to be harmful: crea…
Rabbi Daniel Cohen on legacy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:25
Rabbi Daniel Cohen joins me to talk about his book, What Will They Say About You When You Are Gone?: Creating a Life of Legacy. We discuss how we all create that legacy every day, even in the smallest moments. We talk ab…
Grateful is good; let's add gracious [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:47
It’s Thanksgiving week here in the U.S. We are encouraged, of course, to reflect on what we can be grateful for. There is more focus on our inward directed reflection than on expressing our gratitude to those around us.…
Accepting a lousy option [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:27
When you are truly stuck with a lousy option and need to accept it, what process can you follow?First, acknowledging the frustration. The grief. The loss. Second, trying to keep the finger-pointing and blame to a minimum…
Can you or should you "control your emotions"? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:14
The idea that we can control our emotions is both unrealistic and potentially damaging. We can try to shut them down or bury them. But they won’t go away. They can corrode or explode. Better to make sure that our emotion…
The challenge of being humble or gracious [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:27
It’s good advice to “be humble in victory and gracious in defeat”, a phrase credited to Chrisopher Earle. Humble: no gloating, no mocking. Gracious: accepting the outcome, no blaming those who enforce the rules fairly, n…
Empathy, sympathy, and pity [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:41
Empathy is demonstrating an understanding of another person's feelings and needs. Sympathy shows concern for another person’s misfortune, but not necessarily with the same connection. Pity can be sympathy with judgment o…
John Ford on The Empathy Set [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:23
John Ford is a seasoned mediator. He also describes himself as the purveyor of The Empathy Set. These are tools to help answer the fundamental questions that so often lie behind conflict: What are we feeling and what are…
Noticing conflict patterns – location [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:33
When we are in ongoing relationships, such as those in an extended family or family enterprise, we should be on the lookout for conflict patterns. Is there a pattern to when we frequently end up in a bad conflict? A loca…
Noticing conflict patterns – timing [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:35
When we are in ongoing relationships in an extended family or family enterprise, we should be on the lookout for patterns. Is there a pattern to when we frequently end up in a bad conflict? Which is probably easier to no…