315: What happens once you’ve recovered from Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Dr. Robert Glover)

There's a lot out there about Nice Guy Syndrome. But what happens after? What is the magical land of Boundaries, for example?

If you’ve figured out you’re a Nice Guy, you’ve likely been in a love relationship or two (or five) where you felt like your partner walked all over you, or where you developed resentment after overextending yourself. Or perhaps you've consistently felt used in your relationships. 

If you’ve ever had thoughts like, “When’s it going to be my turn? Why doesn’t she want to have sex with me?” or, “I’ve done so many good things, nobody should ever be mad at me.” — then you’re plenty familiar with Nice Guy Syndrome!

But what happens after you’ve recovered? What’s the dream? What happens once you’ve mastered things like asserting yourself, knowing what you want and need and how to speak up for it, and how to set healthy boundaries?

Here, Dr. Glover and I go through the before, during, and after states of Nice Guy Syndrome. It gets spicy in places, so get ready for a fun ride!

Memorable quotes from this episode:

• “Nobody ever taught me, ‘Say what’s on your mind.’ In my family, that was actually punished.”
• “You begin to realize that a lot of the patterns in your life are triggered by unconscious toxic shame, and deep anxiety states.”
• “In the process of having good guy friends, my love relationship has improved dramatically.”
• “This is the most productive, satisfying year of my life.”
• “We’re healing for humanity.”