339: GirlTalk: Does your woman get anxious? How to soothe her skillfully

Almost every single woman in a relationship (dating or married) needs reassurance sometimes. Unfortunately, many men don't know how to provide it in a way that really lands for her, which often causes unnecessary strife and disconnection.

In one man's words, "I used to be the classic male 'fixer' and thought I would be the one to save the day by giving out suggestions of how she could overcome her anxiety. Surely one of those would work. The more suggestions or solutions to her issues I could come up, the better job I thought I was doing. After several years of this seemingly not working to soothe her anxiety, and sometimes making it worse, I have learned she is not looking for this."

So what is she looking for? Here, we share our personal experiences around anxiety and effective soothing. We break it down into two categories of anxiety: when we're upset or challenged by something in life (work, family, friendships, etc.), and when we're upset about something in the relationship itself.

If you've ever had a partner who fears she's too much, who looks to you for reassurance, or to whom you've wanted to provide deep, reliable, calming care and safety, you'll appreciate this one. Bonus? When you learn to soothe her well, you become even sexier to her.

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Quotes from this episode:

• "'Are you looking for solutions or comfort?'"
• "Sometimes not saying anything at all but just being able to listen is all she needs to be soothed."
• "I also assure her that I'm here for all of it, especially when she seems nervous that her emotions are 'too much.'"
• "Validate my reasoning; even if it’s not rational to you, it’s logical to ME."
• "Our relationship has soared to new heights after learning how to properly soothe my woman."