350: Weed, Porn, and Masturbation: The Trifecta! (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)

350: Weed, Porn, and Masturbation: The Trifecta! (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)

Author: Melanie Curtin February 28, 2025 Duration: 1:03:09

"Porn was the #1 relationship I had in terms of intimacy."

So says Jason on his experience of sex, love, and closeness in his 20s. (Fortunately, after engaging in personal growth, including men's work, he's now married to a radiant goddess!)

If you've ever struggled with your relationship to porn -- and if that has also impacted your relationship to sex and sexuality, you're far from alone. Countless clients of ours start out with a challenging dynamic with porn, and here's the truth: Porn use isn't really about porn. Weed use isn't really about weed, either.

When it comes to using weed, porn & masturbation, and other substances like alcohol, as Luke puts it, "It’s almost always covering up deeper material that men do not know how to handle."

The good news? There are lots of ways to handle that material, safe spaces within which to process it, and a TON of energy, vitality, and joy on the other side.

Remember: Personal growth works, so work it.

---

Work with us

Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.

To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

---

Memorable quotes from this episode:

  • “When I watch porn, I have the freedom to experience pleasure and the freedom to not experience rejection.”
  • “Gimme the weed again because I don’t want to feel the Shame Guy!”
  • “We all do things to avoid feeling the thing that we don’t want to feel.”
  • “Emotion starts as sensation in the body.”
  • “Most of what ails you can be significantly soothed by connection.”

Melanie Curtin hosts Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women, a space where curiosity meets practical change. This isn't about memorizing pick-up lines or playing games; it's built on the idea that genuine personal growth is the most attractive quality a man can develop. The conversations here move beyond surface-level tips to explore the deeper dynamics of connection, drawing from insights across health, culture, and psychology. You'll hear from women who offer a candid look into what fosters real attraction and lasting partnership, providing a valuable perspective often missing from mainstream advice. Each episode tackles the honest questions and challenges men face, whether navigating early dating, deepening intimacy, or building a resilient marriage. The focus is always on actionable understanding-how to listen, communicate, and show up in ways that are both authentic and effective. Tune in for a podcast that respects your intelligence and meets you where you are, offering a blend of straightforward talk and nuanced discussion that can reshape how you approach every aspect of your life with women. It's for any man ready to move past confusion and toward more meaningful, fulfilling connections.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Podcast Episodes
387: GirlTalk: What inspires a woman to deeply trust a man? [replay] [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:20:02
Most men we work with long to be trusted. They yearn to satisfy their partners on every level: physically, emotionally, and sexually. Above all, they want their woman partners to feel safe with them.The fact is, those tw…
385: Are you in a sexless marriage? (ft. Jason Lange) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:07
Some experts estimate that ~15% of marriages are sexless, while others put the number as high as 33% ("sexless relationship" defined as a couple having sex 10 times a year or fewer).That's a lot of people.Now let's talk…
381: My 5 biggest takeaways from my 10 c0ck interviews [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:49
Welcome to Cocktober! We're spending this whole month on a plethora of penis things.As a sex researcher, I can tell you that when it comes to men's top sex problems, a common and unrelenting theme is around erections: ge…
380: What exactly IS polarity? (ft. Violet Lange) [replay] [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:15
"Polarity" is a term we throw around a lot on this podcast, and a concept that has gained popularity in discussions on masculinity, femininity, sacred sexuality, and conscious relationship over the last few decades.Here…