Nikita Gill - Everyone Wants to Be Heard But No One Wants to Listen

Nikita Gill - Everyone Wants to Be Heard But No One Wants to Listen

Author: Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment July 29, 2026 Duration: 54:39
Before becoming a No. 1 New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most widely read poets on Instagram, Nikita worked as a cleaner and carer while sharing her poetry online. She moved from New Delhi to Britain in her early twenties to study for a master's degree at the University for the Creative Arts, and felt she ‘disappointed’ her parents and faced repeated rejection and misogyny in the process. In this episode, she tells Elizabeth about her unusual childhood at sea, growing up in places marked by contested borders, where bomb scares at school felt routine, and the many obstacles she faced throughout her career. She also reflects on the power of poetry to connect us, why myths still resonate today and how writing became both a form of resistance and survival. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:10 Archivist Heart 04:33 Unheard Voices 07:10 Borders Bomb Scares 09:49 Childhood 11:30 Mythical Power 13:52 Rejection To Breakthrough 25:51 Success Highs and Lows 26:31 Rejection as Return 27:45 Dating and Being Returned 28:11 BuzzFeed Fame Backlash 33:36 Shame and Misogyny Online 34:51 Surviving Internet Pile Ons 39:16 Chronic Pain Finally Named 48:34 Family Grief and Goodbye LINKS + MENTIONS: Nikita’s new book, Styx: The River is out this Autumn: www.simonandschuster.co.uk/books/Styx-The-River/Nikita-Gill/9781398537194 Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com WANT MORE? Michael Rosen - swap.fm/l/TCjvDZaxrZsq4iZRCccm LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails Elizabeth and Nikita answer listener questions in our subscriber series: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's a quiet revolution happening in how we think about success, and How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is right at the heart of it. This isn't about schadenfreude or wallowing in misfortune. Instead, Elizabeth Day has created a space where the most interesting conversations begin with a simple, radical premise: our lowest moments are often our greatest teachers. Each episode, a guest-from celebrated artists and thinkers to everyday people with extraordinary stories-sits down to examine three significant failures from their own life. The magic lies in the excavation, as Elizabeth guides the discussion toward the unexpected wisdom and resilience that emerged from those setbacks. You'll hear the raw honesty in their voices, the laughter that comes with hindsight, and the profound clarity that failure can uniquely provide. This podcast, presented by Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment, digs into the messy, human stuff of life that connects us all, transforming shared vulnerability into a source of collective strength. It’s a reminder that the path to any meaningful achievement is rarely a straight line, but a series of instructive detours. The show actively invites listeners to reflect on their own stories, fostering a genuine community around the idea that we can all succeed better by understanding where we've previously stumbled. Tune in for conversations that are as comforting as they are challenging, and which might just change your perspective on what it means to live a well-lived life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Podcast Episodes
ON FAMILY DYNAMICS… With Bella Freud and Danny Dyer [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:48
Families are fascinating: how those first bonds shape our understanding of love, security and ourselves. In this episode, we revisit episodes with Bella Freud and Danny Dyer, who each open up about the simultaneous beaut…
Mo Gilligan - Fatherhood Is A Gift I Didn’t Know I Needed [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:12
Mo Gilligan started out working in retail (think Jo Malone and Levi’s) but quit in 2018 when his online comedy videos went viral. The leap paid off - sell-out tours across the UK, a late-night entertainment show on Chann…
ON FINDING LOVE AT ANY AGE… With Luke Evans and Dolly Alderton [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:20
We’re taught that love should happen early, and if it doesn’t, something’s gone wrong. But what if that’s not true? In this episode, we hear from past How to Fail guests who found love later, or in their own time. Luke E…
Shabaz Ali - ‘I’ll be a diversity quota as long as I get paid’ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:02
A few years ago, Shabaz Ali was a chemistry teacher in Blackburn. Today, he’s one of the internet’s most beloved creators, best known as Shabaz Says, with millions of fans and a knack for skewering the most outrageous (a…
ON FINDING HOPE IN ADVERSITY… With Sir Chris Hoy and Michael Rosen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 19:44
This week we’re revisiting two deeply moving conversations that explore what it means to find hope in the face of profound adversity. First, we hear from the 11-time world champion and a six-time Olympic champion, Sir Ch…
ON THE IMPACT OF EARLY FAME… With Shania Twain and Charlotte Church [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:09
Fame isn’t always limousines, five star hotels, champagne and private jets. I find this topic totally fascinating and these two past How to Fail guests give us a glimpse behind the curtain as to what becoming famous at a…
Martin Freeman - ‘We should be saying no to our kids’ [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 53:44
Martin Freeman is one of the most sought-after actors of his generation. Whether it’s Tim in The Office, John - the mild-mannered porn actor in Love Actually, Watson in Sherlock, Bilbo in The Hobbit, the stressed parent…
ON PANIC ATTACKS… With Jamie Laing and Fearne Cotton [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:51
Panic attacks are wide-spread in today’s society, and yet remain something we rarely talk about openly. So it’s vital that we normalise an experience so many of us share - because talking about it is often the first step…