Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience

Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience

Author: Kay Xander Mellish December 1, 2019 Duration: 7:24

If you're newly arrived in Denmark, making Danish friends is not easy – in fact, surveys show that one of the main reasons internationals end up leaving is the difficulty of building a network.

The irony is that Danes are actually very good at friendship. Their friendships are strong, reliable, and deep-rooted. Friends can count on each other.

But because Danes take friendships so seriously, they like to keep their number of friendships under control. They don't want to take on more friends than they can keep their deep commitment to.

The statement "I just don't have room for any more friends" sounds perfectly sensible to Danes, and utterly stunning to foreigners.

When internationals ask me how they can make Danish friends, I have one primary piece of advice.

It is: find a Dane who did not grow up in the part of Denmark where you live now.


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 151

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
The Spontaneous Dane: Why Friendship Needs a Calendar [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:59
Danes usually don't do spontaneous. They do calendars. This episode looks at why a country that can count 8,000 ballots in three hours still needs two weeks' notice for almost everything else. From perfectly timed buses…
Danish Movies and TV as a Guide to Danish Culture [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 9:09
Watching Danish movies and TV shows is a great way to survive the long Danish winter—and if you're learning Danish or trying to understand Danish culture, it's even better. Many films are available online for free. Whate…
December: Little Nisse, Big Money: The Danish Year Part 12 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:04
The nisse is a centuries-old figure in Danish folklore, and every December these tiny, mischievous spirits take center stage. While Santa Claus makes one big appearance late in the month, the nisse are active the whole s…