Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience

Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience

Author: Kay Xander Mellish December 1, 2019 Duration: 7:24

If you're newly arrived in Denmark, making Danish friends is not easy – in fact, surveys show that one of the main reasons internationals end up leaving is the difficulty of building a network.

The irony is that Danes are actually very good at friendship. Their friendships are strong, reliable, and deep-rooted. Friends can count on each other.

But because Danes take friendships so seriously, they like to keep their number of friendships under control. They don't want to take on more friends than they can keep their deep commitment to.

The statement "I just don't have room for any more friends" sounds perfectly sensible to Danes, and utterly stunning to foreigners.

When internationals ask me how they can make Danish friends, I have one primary piece of advice.

It is: find a Dane who did not grow up in the part of Denmark where you live now.


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 151

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
Arriving in Denmark: Some tips from my experience [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:29
August in Denmark brings the first signs of fall: a crisp chill in the air, the changing color of the leaves, the annual posters warning drivers to be aware of small children riding their bikes to school for the first ti…
Danish babies: Rolling Royalty and Tribal Names [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:02
Denmark is a small country, and Danish people tend to think small things are good. Small cars. Small homes. Small ambitions when it comes to international team sports. But one thing in Denmark is never small – a baby car…
Danes and Fear: What is there to be afraid of in Denmark? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:03
In general, Denmark is not a fearful country. You could argue, what is there to be afraid of in Denmark? It seems like a safe little corner of the world. Tax-funded social programs make it unlikely you'll go hungry or ho…
Spring in Denmark: Hot Wheat Buns and Highly-Educated Drunks [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:53
It's spring in Denmark, and spring is by far my favorite season here. The wonderful white Scandinavian sunlight is back after the dark days of the winter, the flowers are coming out on the trees, and everybody's in a goo…
Danish Birthday Traditions [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:05
It has been said that Danish birthdays are the most important in the world. Adults, children, even the Queen of Denmark make a big deal about birthdays. And there is specific set of birthday rules and traditions for ever…
Danes and Singing [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:00
There have been very few international singing stars from Denmark, and that's a surprise, because Danish people love to sing. Joining choirs is very popular, and Danish schoolchildren often start the week with a song – i…