Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience

Making Danish friends: A few tips based on experience

Author: Kay Xander Mellish December 1, 2019 Duration: 7:24

If you're newly arrived in Denmark, making Danish friends is not easy – in fact, surveys show that one of the main reasons internationals end up leaving is the difficulty of building a network.

The irony is that Danes are actually very good at friendship. Their friendships are strong, reliable, and deep-rooted. Friends can count on each other.

But because Danes take friendships so seriously, they like to keep their number of friendships under control. They don't want to take on more friends than they can keep their deep commitment to.

The statement "I just don't have room for any more friends" sounds perfectly sensible to Danes, and utterly stunning to foreigners.

When internationals ask me how they can make Danish friends, I have one primary piece of advice.

It is: find a Dane who did not grow up in the part of Denmark where you live now.


For anyone curious about or currently navigating Danish life from the outside, How to Live in Denmark serves as an essential, on-the-ground guide. Hosted by Kay Xander Mellish, an American writer who has made Denmark her home for over ten years, this conversation cuts straight to the heart of the everyday realities in one of the world's most homogenous-and often puzzling-societies. Rather than lengthy lectures, you'll find concise, ten-minute episodes packed with practical advice and cultural translation. This isn't just about travel tips; it's a deep dive into the unspoken rules of Danish social etiquette, the nuances of the local workplace, and the sometimes surprising path to feeling at home in a country frequently labeled the world's happiest. Mellish draws from her own long-term experience to explain everything from navigating the infamous Jantelov to understanding the Danish approach to business meetings and casual Friday night hygge. As Denmark's longest-running English-language podcast, it has become a trusted resource for internationals, whether they are planning a move, newly arrived, or have been settled for years but still occasionally find themselves wondering, "Why do Danes do it that way?" Each episode feels like a chat with a well-informed friend who helps decode the complexities of a fascinating culture, making your time there richer and a lot less confusing.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 151

How to Live in Denmark
Podcast Episodes
Politeness in Denmark: Some thoughts on Danish etiquette [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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"Is there politeness in Denmark?" That was the question I was recently invited on a national TV show to discuss. The implication was that I was supposed to say that Danes were not at all polite, because effusive praise a…
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Summer Vacation in Denmark: The Agony and the Ecstasy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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Motivating Danish employees: Tips for Foreign Managers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:27
Motivating Danish employees is very different than motivating other groups of people because there are two big factors missing – hierarchy and fear. We don't like to talk about the fear part in our various countries of o…
The sound of Denmark? Quiet. Very quiet [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:57
Denmark is a quiet country, even within the cities. Especially this time of year, February, when it's too cold to do anything but scurry from place to place, when the street cafés are closed and no one wants to eat their…
Tips for Living with a Danish Family [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:56
As the new academic semester starts up, some of you may be planning to live in a Danish home. It could be you'll rent a room in a household, maybe you'll be part of a Danish host family, or maybe you'll just be staying w…
Autumn in Denmark: The slow fading of the light [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:59
Autumn in Denmark actually starts in mid-August, when the kids go back to school. Danish kids have a very short holiday – usually only about 6 weeks. By late August, you can definitely feel a little fall crispness in the…