Why do good people do things they later regret?
It's a question that's fascinated me for years.
Before I became a coach, studied organisational psychology, or discovered Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I spent years in HR leadership. One of my roles was leading the Conduct and Discipline Team in a large government department in the UK Civil Service. In that job I became increasingly curious about what really drives human behaviour.
In this special solo episode, I share my working hypothesis about leadership:
Under pressure, leaders often default to behaviours designed to reduce discomfort rather than create impact.
I explore six common patterns of psychologically inflexible leadership and introduce my leadership framework, built around three core skills topped and tailed by the Pause and the Review Loop:
- Pause
- Awareness
- Authentic Action
- Adaptability
- and the Review Loop.
Along the way, I share stories from my own leadership journey, including:
- What I learned from conduct and discipline cases
- A memorable disagreement with a tech startup founder about the value of pausing
- The conversation with my husband that changed what I paid attention to
- Lessons from coaching senior leaders through moments of challenge and transition
- Why authenticity became such an important part of my leadership philosophy
This episode is both a reflection on leadership and an invitation to consider what might be running you when pressure shows up.
In this episode
- Why leaders are not exempt from being human
- Six common ways leaders can drift off course
- Why the pause is a leadership superpower
- The importance of awareness and noticing what matters
- Values, authenticity and courageous action
- Adapting without abandoning yourself
- Why reflection turns experience into wisdom
- What ACT has taught me about leadership and human behaviour
Key quote
"Pressure doesn't reveal who we are. Pressure reveals what's running us."
Reflection question
When pressure rises, what patterns show up most often for you?
Resources
You can find an illustration of my ACT-based Leadership Framework in the show notes.
People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.
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