Why good leaders go off track - A People Soup special #1

Why good leaders go off track - A People Soup special #1

Author: People Soup June 1, 2026 Duration: 13:41

Why do good people do things they later regret?

It's a question that's fascinated me for years.

Before I became a coach, studied organisational psychology, or discovered Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I spent years in HR leadership. One of my roles was leading the Conduct and Discipline Team in a large government department in the UK Civil Service. In that job I became increasingly curious about what really drives human behaviour.

In this special solo episode, I share my working hypothesis about leadership:

Under pressure, leaders often default to behaviours designed to reduce discomfort rather than create impact.

I explore six common patterns of psychologically inflexible leadership and introduce my leadership framework, built around three core skills topped and tailed by the Pause and the Review Loop:

  • Pause
  • Awareness
  • Authentic Action
  • Adaptability
  • and the Review Loop.

Along the way, I share stories from my own leadership journey, including:

  • What I learned from conduct and discipline cases
  • A memorable disagreement with a tech startup founder about the value of pausing
  • The conversation with my husband that changed what I paid attention to
  • Lessons from coaching senior leaders through moments of challenge and transition
  • Why authenticity became such an important part of my leadership philosophy

This episode is both a reflection on leadership and an invitation to consider what might be running you when pressure shows up.

In this episode

  • Why leaders are not exempt from being human
  • Six common ways leaders can drift off course
  • Why the pause is a leadership superpower
  • The importance of awareness and noticing what matters
  • Values, authenticity and courageous action
  • Adapting without abandoning yourself
  • Why reflection turns experience into wisdom
  • What ACT has taught me about leadership and human behaviour

Key quote

"Pressure doesn't reveal who we are. Pressure reveals what's running us."

Reflection question

When pressure rises, what patterns show up most often for you?

Resources

You can find an illustration of my ACT-based Leadership Framework in the show notes.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

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Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE


Ever wonder why we do the things we do, especially at work or when trying to lead others? People Soup digs into that question, but it doesn’t stop at theory. Each episode is built on a foundation of behavioural science, which means you’ll get more than just interesting stories-you’ll get a clearer understanding of the human ingredients that make up our daily interactions. The conversations here feel real and unscripted, often touching on the messy, rewarding, and sometimes frustrating experience of simply being human. You’ll find that this podcast operates at the intersection of our professional ambitions and our personal well-being, exploring how they influence each other in ways we might not immediately see. It’s for anyone who has left a meeting baffled by a colleague’s reaction, struggled to motivate a team, or just wanted to navigate their own goals with a bit more clarity and less friction. The ideas discussed are deliberately practical, designed to be used almost immediately, whether you’re looking to improve a process, a relationship, or your own mindset. Tune in for a blend of thoughtful analysis and actionable insight that aims to make the complex recipe of human behaviour a little easier to understand and work with.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

People Soup
Podcast Episodes
Quick Spoon: When we avoid disappointing others [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:07
Success doesn't always feel like success.In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a coaching conversation with someone who appeared to have everything going for them: successful, respected and on track for a remarkable care…
Quick Spoon: Awareness often begins with a metaphorical itch [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:06
You can't lead beyond what you notice and awareness often begins with a metaphorical itch.A feeling that something isn't quite right. Something isn't fitting. Something needs attention.In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects…
Quick Spoon: The leadership skill that's going out of fashion [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:05
We're encouraged to be quick, responsive and always on.But what happens when urgency becomes identity, reaction becomes leadership and speed becomes a virtue?In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on why he believes the paus…
Quick Spoon: Leadership starts feeling difficult [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:51
In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the fourth skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Adaptability.Inspired by a candid reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode explores what happens when leadership becomes unce…
Quick Spoon: What's love got to do with it? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:29
In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the third skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Authentic Action.Inspired by a powerful insight from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at the tension leaders face between acting…
Quick Spoon: I always had an eye looking in [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:09
In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the second skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Awareness.Inspired by a reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at the leadership power of noticing what’s happening b…
Quick Spoon: Why did I react like that? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:13
In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the first skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Pause.Inspired by a powerful reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at those moments when our reactions feel immediate…
Quick Spoon: That difficult person at work [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:25
Every workplace seems to have one.The difficult colleague.The challenging client.The person who pushes your buttons before they’ve even opened their mouth.In this Quick Spoon from my conversation with Dr Eric Goodman, we…
Why work feels so personal with Gabriella Braun [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:04
In this episode of People Soup, Ross is joined by consultant, psychoanalytic thinker, and author Gabriella Braun for a deeply human conversation about why work can feel so personal.Drawing on her remarkable book All That…
Quick Spoon: Speak to three people [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:29
What do you do when anxiety shows up… right when something matters?A networking event.A room full of strangers.A voice in your head saying:“Your Spanish isn’t good enough.”In this Quick Spoon, I share a very real moment…