Validating Feelings Isn't Working

Validating Feelings Isn't Working

Author: JLML Press July 29, 2025 Duration: 21:00
The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating feelings doesn't work for their child and feels more like an exercise in frustration. In this encore episode, Janet speaks to some of the common reasons this practice might feel less effective, what to do instead, and why we shouldn't give up on acknowledging as a powerfully empathic relationship-building tool. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Drawing from over twenty-five years of hands-on experience, Janet Lansbury brings a grounded, compassionate voice to the often chaotic world of raising children. Her Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled podcast, presented by JLML Press, isn't about quick fixes or following a strict rulebook. Instead, each conversation takes a real question or struggle from a parent and explores it with depth and empathy. What you'll hear is a thoughtful discussion that reframes common challenges-from tantrums to power struggles to sibling rivalry-through the principles of respectful parenting. Janet’s approach consistently moves the focus away from seeking control and toward understanding the child's perspective and fostering a genuine connection. This isn't about memorizing scripts or employing tactics; it's about a fundamental shift in how we see our children and ourselves within the family dynamic. Tuning into this podcast feels like having a wise, calm consultant in your ear, offering clarity and practical insights that empower you to respond with more confidence and less reactivity. The discussions in every episode aim to replace frustration with understanding, providing parents with a sustainable framework that honors both the child's development and the parent's need for a more peaceful home.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled
Podcast Episodes
Demands, Wild Behavior, and Parent Guilt [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:46
A parent feels confused by her children's demands and wonders if her boundaries are too unclear. Another parent feels overwhelmed by her 4-year-old's emotional behavior at the preschool she opened at her home: "He's gott…
Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:33
Trauma informed coaches Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn join Janet to discuss how they help parents identify triggers and heal wounds that are preventing them from being the parents they wish to be and otherwise negatively…
Raising Can-Do Kids [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:58
Inspired by a couple's Instagram video of their determined toddler, Janet shares a 4-step sequence of responses to encourage our kids to persevere, even through frustration. Deddeh Howard's video: https://www.instagram.c…
Separation Anxiety, Meltdowns... The Solution Is Often in Our Face [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:11
Janet responds to questions from two parents who describe their sensitive children struggling with separation, transitions, and general emotional overwhelm. One writes, “I go into panic mode when I see his eyes widen wit…
Lost in Transition - How Changes Affect Our Kids' Behavior [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:23
Toddler twins are suddenly melting down at bedtime. A 5-year-old is struggling to manage his unruly friend. Janet explains how parents in both these cases can help to resolve these issues by better understanding their ch…
The Year to Stop Doubting Yourself [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:35
Janet believes that one of the biggest hurdles for us as parents is our own self-doubt and hopes that 2026 will be the year we stop second-guessing ourselves. With this in mind, she offers suggestions to 3 families who'v…
Can We Be Sad or Angry And Still Be Unruffled? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:13
A parent struggles to control emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment when they’re triggered by her toddler. While she strives to be a confident leader by appearing calm and unruffled, she also wants to mode…
Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:11
A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies d…
Finally! A One-Size-Fits-All Approach to Our Kids' Behavior [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:50
Every child is certainly unique, but when it comes to their behavior, we can sometimes complicate a situation that might really be quite simple to address. This week Janet shares an email from a parent who says her nearl…
3 Secrets to Raising Grateful Kids [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:00
As parents, we do our best to raise kind, thoughtful, appreciative kids. But despite our efforts, our children can sometimes seem downright ungrateful. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet about her frustrations with h…