The internet promised to make self-improvement accessible to everyone. But has it instead turned it into a spectator sport - replacing process with performance, and pushing us to consume playbooks rather than actually build habits?
Welcome to Ruined By The Internet? - the show where we examine how technology is shaping modern life - whether we want it to or not.
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We're joined by Justin Leff - behavioural coach and founder of Solilium Coaching - who helps people with discipline, wellness, and self-understanding, and has seen firsthand what happens when the algorithm becomes the self-improvement plan.
In this episode we investigate how algorithms and social media have reshaped our goals and motivation, examine the danger of social comparison in a world of curated success, explore how digital overload creates decision fatigue, and ask whether AI is finally the personalised self-improvement tool we were promised - or just a more sophisticated version of the same one-size-fits-all problem.
(00:00) The Impact of the Internet on Self-Improvement
(03:12) Globalisation of Ideas and Goals
(06:07) The Dangers of Social Comparison
(09:08) The Role of Role Models in the Digital Age
(12:03) Chasing Status vs. Genuine Self-Improvement
(15:12) The Journey of Self-Discovery
(18:05) The Process Over Quick Fixes
(21:14) The Impact of Digital Overload on Motivation
(24:08) Navigating Decision Fatigue in a World of Options
(28:03) The Future of Self-Improvement Without Social Media
(30:41) AI's Role in Tailored Self-Improvement
(35:08) Finding Authentic Peer Support in Self-Improvement
(37:13) The Importance of Community in Personal Growth
Key takeaways:
• The Optimisation Trap: reading endless books, listening to podcasts, and watching motivation videos tricks the brain into feeling productive while delaying the uncomfortable real-world action required for genuine change.
• Flawless Online Archetype Illusion: Social media platforms elevate curated, hyper-disciplined aesthetics into unrealistic standards of human perfection, forcing everyday users into toxic loops of comparison and shame.
• Commercialisation of Existential Discontent: The modern wellness and self-improvement economy operates by intentionally pathologising normal human emotions and rebranding them as systemic optimisation problems to fix.
• The Ceiling of Digital Community: Digital-only connections hit a psychological ceiling; lasting personal transformation and fulfillment ultimately require grounding yourself in physical, local communities.
If this episode got you thinking, check out:
Sleep: Screens Stealing Our Slumber?
https://pod.link/1825601333/episode/N2NlNGQ3ZmItYTk1Yy00MjRlLTk5YjAtMmUyODM0OTRlNTQz
The Human Identity: Authenticity or Algorithmic Performance?
https://pod.link/1825601333/episode/YzU1NjhlYzYtMDVjNC00ODJkLTgzYjQtMzBhNDcwN2RkZTJi
Empowerment: Objectification Rebranded As Agency?
https://pod.link/1825601333/episode/YTVjZDI5NjYtOWUzZC00ZDQ4LWFkZWUtYWViZjlmMjRmYjUx
Guest links - Justin Leff
Website: https://www.soliliumcoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soliliumthoughts/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SoliliumThoughts
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