How do I handle jealousy in a monogamous OR ENM relationship?

How do I handle jealousy in a monogamous OR ENM relationship?

Author: Danielle Bezalel, MPH: Sex Educator | Pleasure Expert October 3, 2025 Duration: 19:17

This week, DB reflects on last week's fantastic conversation with Certified Sex Therapist Claire Perelman. Let's take a moment to really unpack jealousy and envy, no matter if you're ENM or monogamous. What does jealousy say about us -- and what does it not? There's a sense of shame around jealousy that we can move past using our emotional honesty and by naming what we're feeling. Plus: a vocab lesson on jealousy versus envy. They're different!

JEALOUSY SCRIPTS YOU CAN STEAL
When jealousy pops up mid-scroll:
"Hey love, I'm feeling a jealousy pang. I'm going to take 10 minutes to breathe and journal, then could we do a quick check-in about Friday's plans? I think I need a clearer start/stop time so I can plan something for me."

When you need reassurance without rules:
"I'm not asking you to stop seeing them. I'm asking for a reassurance ritual--a goodnight text and a Saturday morning debrief. That would help my nervous system a lot."

When you want to celebrate your partner but still have feels:
"I'm happy you had a great date, and I'm noticing some jealousy in me. Could we carve 30 minutes tomorrow for us? I want to reconnect."

Repair after a jealous blow-up:
"I got flooded and got snappy. I'm sorry. The story in my head was 'I'm being replaced.' Here's what I'm going to try next time: pause, breathe, then ask for a check-in."

ABOUT SEASON 12
Season 12 of Sex Ed with DB is ALL ABOUT PLEASURE! Solo pleasure. Partnered pleasure. Orgasms. Porn. Queer joy. Kinks, sex toys, fantasies—you name it. We're here to help you feel more informed, more empowered, and a whole lot more turned on to help YOU have the best sex.

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Sex Ed with DB is your go-to podcast for smart, science-backed sex education—delivering trusted insights from top experts on sex, sexuality, and pleasure. Empowering, inclusive, and grounded in real science, it's the sex ed you've always wanted.

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SEASON 12 TEAM
Creator, Host & Executive Producer: Danielle Bezalel (DB) (she/her)
Communications Lead: Cathren Cohen (she/her)
Growth Marketing Manager and Producer: Wil Williams (they/them)

MUSIC
Intro theme music: Hook Sounds
Background music: Bright State by Ketsa
Ad music: Soul Sync by Ketsa, Always Faithful by Ketsa, and Soul Epic by Ketsa. Thank you Ketsa!


You have questions about pleasure, intimacy, and your own body that feel too complex or awkward to ask out loud. Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education is the space where those questions are not only welcomed but explored with depth and clarity. Hosted by Danielle Bezalel (DB), a sex educator with a Masters in Public Health, this podcast moves beyond basic biology to address the real, often unspoken, aspects of our sexual lives. Each episode is built on a foundation of credible research and compassionate insight, dismantling the myths and shame that so often accompany these topics. You’ll hear DB in conversation with leading experts, therapists, and researchers, translating their knowledge into practical advice you can actually use. Whether it’s navigating communication with a partner, understanding your own desires more fully, or simply seeking a more confident and joyful connection to your sexuality, this series provides a trustworthy guide. The tone is direct, inclusive, and refreshingly free of judgment, meeting you exactly where you are in your personal journey. Tune in for a re-education that focuses not on what’s wrong, but on what’s possible for a more fulfilling and informed intimate life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education
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