How do I handle jealousy in a monogamous OR ENM relationship?

How do I handle jealousy in a monogamous OR ENM relationship?

Author: Danielle Bezalel, MPH: Sex Educator | Pleasure Expert October 3, 2025 Duration: 19:17

This week, DB reflects on last week's fantastic conversation with Certified Sex Therapist Claire Perelman. Let's take a moment to really unpack jealousy and envy, no matter if you're ENM or monogamous. What does jealousy say about us -- and what does it not? There's a sense of shame around jealousy that we can move past using our emotional honesty and by naming what we're feeling. Plus: a vocab lesson on jealousy versus envy. They're different!

JEALOUSY SCRIPTS YOU CAN STEAL
When jealousy pops up mid-scroll:
"Hey love, I'm feeling a jealousy pang. I'm going to take 10 minutes to breathe and journal, then could we do a quick check-in about Friday's plans? I think I need a clearer start/stop time so I can plan something for me."

When you need reassurance without rules:
"I'm not asking you to stop seeing them. I'm asking for a reassurance ritual--a goodnight text and a Saturday morning debrief. That would help my nervous system a lot."

When you want to celebrate your partner but still have feels:
"I'm happy you had a great date, and I'm noticing some jealousy in me. Could we carve 30 minutes tomorrow for us? I want to reconnect."

Repair after a jealous blow-up:
"I got flooded and got snappy. I'm sorry. The story in my head was 'I'm being replaced.' Here's what I'm going to try next time: pause, breathe, then ask for a check-in."

ABOUT SEASON 12
Season 12 of Sex Ed with DB is ALL ABOUT PLEASURE! Solo pleasure. Partnered pleasure. Orgasms. Porn. Queer joy. Kinks, sex toys, fantasies—you name it. We're here to help you feel more informed, more empowered, and a whole lot more turned on to help YOU have the best sex.

CONNECT WITH US
Instagram: @sexedwithdbpodcast
TikTok: @sexedwithdb
Twitter: @sexedwithdb
Threads: @sexedwithdbpodcast
YouTube: Sex Ed with DB

SEX ED WITH DB SEASON 12 SPONSORS
Lion's DenUberlube, & Magic Wand
Get discounts on all of DB's favorite things here!

GET IN TOUCH
Email: sexedwithdb@gmail.com
Subscribe to our BRAND NEW newsletter for hot goss, expert advice, and *the* most salacious stories.

FOR SEXUAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS
Check out DB's workshop: "Building A Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand"

ABOUT THE SHOW
Sex Ed with DB is your go-to podcast for smart, science-backed sex education—delivering trusted insights from top experts on sex, sexuality, and pleasure. Empowering, inclusive, and grounded in real science, it's the sex ed you've always wanted.

ASK AN ANONYMOUS SEX ED QUESTION
Fill out our anonymous form to ask your sex ed question.

SEASON 12 TEAM
Creator, Host & Executive Producer: Danielle Bezalel (DB) (she/her)
Communications Lead: Cathren Cohen (she/her)
Growth Marketing Manager and Producer: Wil Williams (they/them)

MUSIC
Intro theme music: Hook Sounds
Background music: Bright State by Ketsa
Ad music: Soul Sync by Ketsa, Always Faithful by Ketsa, and Soul Epic by Ketsa. Thank you Ketsa!


You have questions about pleasure, intimacy, and your own body that feel too complex or awkward to ask out loud. Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education is the space where those questions are not only welcomed but explored with depth and clarity. Hosted by Danielle Bezalel (DB), a sex educator with a Masters in Public Health, this podcast moves beyond basic biology to address the real, often unspoken, aspects of our sexual lives. Each episode is built on a foundation of credible research and compassionate insight, dismantling the myths and shame that so often accompany these topics. You’ll hear DB in conversation with leading experts, therapists, and researchers, translating their knowledge into practical advice you can actually use. Whether it’s navigating communication with a partner, understanding your own desires more fully, or simply seeking a more confident and joyful connection to your sexuality, this series provides a trustworthy guide. The tone is direct, inclusive, and refreshingly free of judgment, meeting you exactly where you are in your personal journey. Tune in for a re-education that focuses not on what’s wrong, but on what’s possible for a more fulfilling and informed intimate life.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Sex Ed with DB: smart, science-backed sex education
Podcast Episodes
Death Cramps: Is This Normal? (from CRAMPED) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:04
One nerd's quest to find out why we know next to nothing about period pain. Tired of suffering from "death cramps" with no diagnosis for 20 years, Kate Downey has to look for her own answers. What she finds will change h…
Sex Ed with DB Season 12 is here: ALL ABOUT PLEASURE! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:06
Ready to have better sex? Start here. This season on Sex Ed with DB, we're diving into what your high school health class definitely didn't teach you: how to get more pleasure. Whether you're trying to orgasm with a part…
No Strings Attached with Kate Helen Downey: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:27
It's the final Rom-Com Vom—and we're going out with a true vom. DB is joined by the brilliant Kate from CRAMPED to dissect No Strings Attached, a film so bafflingly bad it makes you double-check that yes, it really did c…
DB's TV Review: Dying For Sex (DB's Download) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:03
In this week's bonus ep: DB reviews Dying for Sex, a show about what happens when a terminal diagnosis blows your whole life open, and catalyzes a chaotic late-stage sexual awakening. She breaks down what the show gets r…
13 Going on 30 with Paul Caiola: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 45:41
This week, we are thrilled (wink wink) to review 13 Going on 30! DB and Paul talk about the ethics of age-gap romance when time travel is involved, and why 2000s films were so obsessed with pitting women against each oth…
How do I get out of the friend zone? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:22
Inspired by this week's Rom Com Vom episode on the disastrous Just Friends, DB answers a listener's question about getting out of the friend zone... Mentioned in this episode: Just Friends with Lauren Passell and Holly B…
Just Friends with Lauren Passell and Holly Brown: Rom-Com Vom [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:20
Buckle up, it's Just Friends week on Rom Com Vom! DB is joined by Holly Brown and Lauren Passell of Tink Media to break down reformed fuckboys, friend zone mythology, and why this movie still kind of slaps, even when it…
Taming the Busy Brain with Dr. Romie (from Be Well, Sis) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:11
Today we're sharing an episode from one of our wellness podcast faves: Be Well, Sis. Hosted by Dr. Cassandre Dunbar, the show is dedicated to providing resources for Black millennial women to be their best selves physica…
BEST OF: ORGASMS (Re-release) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 24:16
DB is on her honeymoon, so we're bringing you the BEST orgasm tips from the archives of Sex Ed with DB! DB and Mariah from Sex Ed Files share their go-to techniques for reaching the big O. Then, stick around as DB tackle…