The reason your marriage is sexless has nothing to do with sex. If you think a lack of intimacy in your relationship is a sex problem, I need you to hear this — it's almost never about the bedroom.
In this episode, I break down emotional availability: what it really means, why so many good, hardworking, faithful men struggle with it, and how childhood shapes the way we handle conflict as adults. I explain the biology behind emotional shutdown, walk through attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant — and show why emotional safety is the real path to physical intimacy for most women. Then I give you five practical shifts to become more emotionally reachable, plus real scripts you can use tonight.
This isn't about blame. It's about understanding the blueprint you were handed — so you can build something better.
Join the waitlist for my upcoming coaching program for midlife men: https://taboototruth.wixforms.com/f/7424226439106397420
In This Episode:
0:00 - Cold Open: "It's Almost Never About the Bedroom"
0:20 - Welcome to Taboo to Truth
1:05 - The Emotionally Unavailable Man: What Today's Episode Covers
2:15 - "He's a Great Guy, But I Can't Get Close to Him"
3:45 - What Emotional Availability Actually Means
5:30 - Real Examples: What He Says vs. What She Hears
7:15 - How Boys Are Taught to Suppress Emotion
9:15 - The Biology of Shutdown: Flooding, Adrenaline & the Amygdala
11:00 - What Are You Really Protecting?
12:00 - Attachment Styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant & Fearful-Avoidant
15:30 - Your Brain Can Change: Neuroplasticity Explained
16:45 - Why Sexless Marriages Are Rarely About Sex
19:00 - The 5 Shifts to Become Emotionally Available
21:15 - Real Scripts: What to Say Instead
22:10 - The Client Story: "I Thought I Had a Sex Problem"
22:35 - Final Thoughts & Coaching Waitlist
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion.
LINKS, RESOURCES, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS & FREEBIES
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🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser
🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F
About The Host:
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com
