In this episode, I'm talking about one of the most common and least discussed experiences in midlife: painful sex. Whether it's dryness, tightness, uncomfortable positioning, or intimacy that has quietly faded, I want you to know this is not normal aging and it is not something you have to accept. Bodies change as we get older — hormones shift, tissue thins, muscles tighten, and positions that once worked no longer do — but that doesn't mean pleasure is off the table. I walk through what's actually happening physiologically, why pain during sex is never something to push through, and the practical tools that can help: quality lubricants, pelvic floor physical therapy, honest communication with partners, and strategic positioning support. I also introduce the Prim Pillow by Taboo, a wedge-shaped cushion I personally use and love, and share exactly how I use it to reduce strain, change angles, and make intimacy feel comfortable and connected again. Great sex in midlife is possible — it just looks different than it did at 30, and that's not a problem. It's an opportunity.
This is a highly visual episode and is best watched on video: https://youtu.be/_oXa6NOR_FQ
In this episode:
00:00 - Welcome & What This Episode Is About
00:47 - Introduction: Pain With Sex Is Not Normal
01:30 - Sex After 50 — A Different but Better Conversation
02:00 - What Actually Changes in Your Body as You Age
02:51 - Why Pain During Sex Is Never Something to Tolerate
03:02 - Tools That Help: Lube, Pelvic Floor PT & Communication
03:28 - Introducing the Prim Pillow by Taboo
04:42 - How to Use the Prim Pillow: Hip Elevation & Positioning
05:54 - Why Lube Matters & the PJUR Med Sensitive Recommendation
06:45 - Positioning Tips: Angles, Comfort & Communication
07:14 - Sex Doesn't Expire — It Evolves
07:55 - You Deserve Intimacy That Feels Good at Every Age
08:13 - Resources & Where to Find Karen
08:32 - Outro: Subscribe, Share & Make the World More Sex-Positive
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!
🔗 Resources mentioned:
Pain-Free Sex resources: https://www.taboototruth.com/post/aging-and-sex-after-50-how-to-reduce-pain-increase-pleasure
Prim Pillow by Tabu: https://www.heytabu.com
Pjure Lube (PJUR Med Sensitive Water-Based): https://www.pntrac.com/t/8-10991-371921-141081?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.babeland.com%2Fsearch%3Fst%3Dproduct%26q%3Dpjur
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com
Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.
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