In this episode, I sit down with two powerhouse sex therapists — Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz — to dig into one of the most common and least talked-about issues in long-term relationships: mismatched libidos. We're breaking down what desire discrepancy really means, why it doesn't have to spell the end of your sex life, and why the person wanting less sex is never simply "the problem." We get honest about the shame spiral that shuts men down sexually, the hidden reasons behind low male desire (from testosterone to performance anxiety to cultural conditioning), and the exact language that can open a conversation your partner has been too scared to start. This is Part 1 of 2 — and it's essential listening for anyone who has ever felt rejected in the bedroom or guilty for saying no.
In this episode:
00:00 - Welcome & Guest Introductions
01:50 - What Is Desire Discrepancy — And Who Has It?
04:25 - Why Nobody's the Problem (But It Feels That Way)
06:40 - When She Wants It More Than He Does
09:20 - The Hidden Reasons Behind Low Male Desire
12:55 - How to Start the Conversation With a Shut-Down Partner
16:10 - The Two Words That Change Everything: You Matter
19:05 - Getting Into Therapy: Where Do You Even Start?
21:30 - The Bilingual Couple: Unlocking Desire Through Language
24:20 - Men's Shame, Sensuality & the Missing Safe Spaces
26:40 - Sexual Rejection and the Fear of Not Belonging
27:50 - Part 2 Teaser & Where to Find the Guests
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!
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Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
About the Guests:
Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz are the directors of The Intimacy Institute. They have been in practice for over 16 years, offering the best in relationship and clinical sex therapy. Their practice offers both telehealth services and three-day couples retreats from their office in Colorado. As licensed and certified therapists with professional, personal, and parenting experience, they help elevate relationships to the next level.
Connect with Jenni & Daniel:
Website: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drjenniskyler https://www.instagram.com/sexandthepsychepod/
Podcast: https://www.intimacyinstitute.org/sex-and-the-psyche
About the host:
Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.
This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.
Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:
Email: karen@taboototruth.com
Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast
Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com
Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.
Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!
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