451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

Author: iHeartPodcasts August 27, 2026 Duration: 52:03

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychological language can help us make sense of relationships, it can also become a way to avoid the much harder truth - sometimes we simply don’t know yet. In this episode we look at why overanalysing feels so reassuring, especially when we have been hurt before, and how the search for hidden meaning can distract us from direct communication, being present, and the person actually in front of us.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:
• The difference between noticing patterns and control rumination
• Why dating uncertainty makes labels feel so appealing
• Why overanalysing often comes from fear rather than insight
• Why this can stop us from being vulnerable ourselves
• Why behaviour matters more than the story behind it
• How to slow the spiral and regain clarity, communication, and self-trust

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

Our favourite sources:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_overthinking_your_relationship 
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X16300306?via%3Dihub 
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.75.2.545 
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-01742-003 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.


Navigating your twenties can feel like a constant, bewildering experiment where you're both the scientist and the subject. The Psychology of your 20s, hosted by Jemma Sbeg, treats this unique decade with the thoughtful analysis it deserves. Released every Tuesday and Friday, each episode picks apart a specific thread of the modern twentysomething experience-whether it's the anxiety of mapping out a career, the complexities of dating apps, the strain on friendships, or the stress of managing money for the first time. Jemma grounds these universal themes in psychological research and science, offering clarity on why this period feels so tumultuous. The conversations move beyond simple advice, instead providing a framework for understanding the mental and emotional underpinnings of decisions big and small. This isn't a lecture; it's a companionable exploration of the growing pains that define adulthood's first chapter. Tuning into this podcast feels like gaining a new lens on your own life, one that transforms confusion into comprehension. It’s produced by iHeartPodcasts.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

The Psychology of your 20s
Podcast Episodes
452. How to get better at being alone [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:51
The fear of missing out or not seizing every moment are some of the biggest worries we experience in our 20s. However, spending time alone isn’t the same as being lonely or doing nothing - in fact, it’s quite the opposit…
450. The psychology of the quarter life reinvention [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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449. The psychology of your shadow self [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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448. The psychology of reputation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

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447. The psychology of PMOS/PCOS ft. Dr Hazel Wallace [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:14:52
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446. The psychology of Stockholm Syndrome [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 31:23
The term “Stockholm Syndrome” is used to explain why someone might defend, protect, or feel attached to a person who has harmed them - but why does this happen? In this bonus episode, we explore where the term came from,…
445. Your guide to nervous system regulation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 52:51
Tips for nervous system regulation are everywhere right now - from breathwork and cold plunges to conversations about burnout, anxiety, and trauma. But what does it actually mean to be regulated, and are we sometimes tur…
444. The psychology of angel numbers [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:50
Angel numbers have a way of showing up just when we need them. 111 symbolises new beginnings. 444 means divine protection. Why does our mind pay such close attention to these numbers, what is the history, and what is the…
443. How to be more interesting [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:53
I think we all instinctively know if we find someone interesting… or not. But how can we cultivate the skills of being interesting to others? In this episode, we break down the science behind what makes people interestin…
442. The psychology of insecurity [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:38
If anyone tells you that they’re not even a little bit insecure, they’re lying, in denial, or both. It’s a fact of life that we all feel insecure at times - about how we look, behave, our achievements, and whether we are…