451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

Author: iHeartPodcasts August 27, 2026 Duration: 52:03

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychological language can help us make sense of relationships, it can also become a way to avoid the much harder truth - sometimes we simply don’t know yet. In this episode we look at why overanalysing feels so reassuring, especially when we have been hurt before, and how the search for hidden meaning can distract us from direct communication, being present, and the person actually in front of us.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:
• The difference between noticing patterns and control rumination
• Why dating uncertainty makes labels feel so appealing
• Why overanalysing often comes from fear rather than insight
• Why this can stop us from being vulnerable ourselves
• Why behaviour matters more than the story behind it
• How to slow the spiral and regain clarity, communication, and self-trust

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

Our favourite sources:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_overthinking_your_relationship 
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X16300306?via%3Dihub 
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.75.2.545 
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-01742-003 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.


Navigating your twenties can feel like a constant, bewildering experiment where you're both the scientist and the subject. The Psychology of your 20s, hosted by Jemma Sbeg, treats this unique decade with the thoughtful analysis it deserves. Released every Tuesday and Friday, each episode picks apart a specific thread of the modern twentysomething experience-whether it's the anxiety of mapping out a career, the complexities of dating apps, the strain on friendships, or the stress of managing money for the first time. Jemma grounds these universal themes in psychological research and science, offering clarity on why this period feels so tumultuous. The conversations move beyond simple advice, instead providing a framework for understanding the mental and emotional underpinnings of decisions big and small. This isn't a lecture; it's a companionable exploration of the growing pains that define adulthood's first chapter. Tuning into this podcast feels like gaining a new lens on your own life, one that transforms confusion into comprehension. It’s produced by iHeartPodcasts.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

The Psychology of your 20s
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