451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

Author: iHeartPodcasts August 27, 2026 Duration: 52:03

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychological language can help us make sense of relationships, it can also become a way to avoid the much harder truth - sometimes we simply don’t know yet. In this episode we look at why overanalysing feels so reassuring, especially when we have been hurt before, and how the search for hidden meaning can distract us from direct communication, being present, and the person actually in front of us.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:
• The difference between noticing patterns and control rumination
• Why dating uncertainty makes labels feel so appealing
• Why overanalysing often comes from fear rather than insight
• Why this can stop us from being vulnerable ourselves
• Why behaviour matters more than the story behind it
• How to slow the spiral and regain clarity, communication, and self-trust

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

Our favourite sources:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_overthinking_your_relationship 
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X16300306?via%3Dihub 
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.75.2.545 
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1996-01742-003 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.


Navigating your twenties can feel like a constant, bewildering experiment where you're both the scientist and the subject. The Psychology of your 20s, hosted by Jemma Sbeg, treats this unique decade with the thoughtful analysis it deserves. Released every Tuesday and Friday, each episode picks apart a specific thread of the modern twentysomething experience-whether it's the anxiety of mapping out a career, the complexities of dating apps, the strain on friendships, or the stress of managing money for the first time. Jemma grounds these universal themes in psychological research and science, offering clarity on why this period feels so tumultuous. The conversations move beyond simple advice, instead providing a framework for understanding the mental and emotional underpinnings of decisions big and small. This isn't a lecture; it's a companionable exploration of the growing pains that define adulthood's first chapter. Tuning into this podcast feels like gaining a new lens on your own life, one that transforms confusion into comprehension. It’s produced by iHeartPodcasts.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

The Psychology of your 20s
Podcast Episodes
The psychology of uncertainty [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:44
Uncertainty is the defining emotion of our 20s. Career paths, relationships, identity, purpose ... so much of this decade is marked by not knowing. Does that have to be as uncomfortable as we think it does? In today’s ep…
The 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:44
Over the past 6 months I've been asking people: what is the biggest mistake you made in your 20s? I've heard from over 5'000 people, some of them 21, some of them 80 and I have combined all their responses to make the ul…
The psychology of highly sensitive people [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:48
The life of the highly sensitive person is often misunderstood. Highly sensitive aren't just people who cry too much or get overwhelmed, take things too personally: they actually take in so much of the world that it can…
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Duration: 46:47
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441. The Freud Episode [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 46:49
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440. 7 psychology tips to hack your productivity [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 42:39
Productivity advice often tells us to push harder, wake up earlier, and squeeze more out of every hour. But in this episode, we take a different approach. Instead of treating productivity like a test of willpower, we loo…
438. The secrets of therapy FROM a therapist ft. Dr Sandra Espinoza [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 47:45
We all know that therapy is amazing, in fact it’s life-changing for many people. But what does therapy actually do? And what makes a good therapist? In today’s episode we’re joined by Dr Sandra Espinoza, Associate Profes…
437. The psychology behind feeling 'too much' [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 48:49
At some point in most of our lives, most of us have felt that we are ‘too much’. We might feel that we are too loud, have too many opinions, are too extroverted, too needy, or generally take up too much emotional ‘space’…
436. The psychology of sibling rivalry [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:53
In many ways, sibling rivalry is an integral part of growing up in a multiple-child household – the arguments, the jealousy, the competition. But as we explore in this episode, those sibling dynamics often don’t stop in…