Anish & Miguel are two dads in Berlin who recently welcomed their son, Alexander, through agency-based surrogacy. And listen — some of us (cough… Jaimie… cough) approached queer family building with good vibes and very few spreadsheets. But THESE TWO? Absolute meticulous gay dad excellence. From cross-country agency visits, to karyotype testing, to annual goal-setting (“become parents” was literally on the list!), Anish and Miguel walk us through the entire surrogacy process with clarity, honesty, and so much heart. This episode is truly a surrogacy masterclass — a must-listen for anyone exploring this path.
🏳️🌈 Key Takeaways
- Surrogacy through an agency is all about trust — more than glossy brochures or fancy clinics.
- Anish & Miguel treated the process like a project: research, goal-setting, and risk assessment at every step.
- They visited multiple countries and agencies before landing on Be Parent Surrogacy in Cyprus.
- Genetic testing (karyotype screening) helped them make informed choices about their egg donor and embryos.
- Their egg donor was selected to reflect both of them, and fresh-egg IVF increased their chances of success.
- Long stretches of waiting in silence between milestones were some of the hardest emotional parts.
- Neither dad felt an instant, magical bond at birth — and they talk honestly about how connection can grow over time.
- German law still requires second-parent adoption for the non-legal parent, even after surrogacy abroad.
- Despite the legal hoops, they received full parental leave and government benefits — a big win for equality.
🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈
- Anish & Miguel are new dads living in Berlin with their four-month-old son, Alexander. After years of thoughtful planning, cross-country research, and honest conversations about what family means to them, they pursued agency-based surrogacy through Be Parent. Their story is full of intention, vulnerability, and practical guidance for queer families exploring the surrogacy path.
🏳️🌈 Thanks to our sponsors!
• California Cryobank If you’re listening to this show, there’s a good chance you’re building your family the queer way — and might need a little help in the sperm department. 🩵 Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!
•Be Parent Surrogacy Be Parent oversees the creation of family through surrogacy and IVF, from the very beginning, extending support even well after birth. Mention The Queer Family Podcast to receive $2000 of your treatment!
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🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website
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The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!
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