From Lesbian Community to Trans Elder: Reid Vanderburgh’s Story

From Lesbian Community to Trans Elder: Reid Vanderburgh’s Story

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. August 17, 2026 Duration: 41:31

Reid Vanderburgh spent more than 20 years living in lesbian community before realizing he was trans. More than 30 years later, he's a retired therapist, author, stepfather, chosen grandfather, and proud trans elder.

Reid joins Jaimie to talk about finding the language to understand yourself, becoming the therapist he once needed, and why younger generations give him hope. They also explore chosen family, the power of representation, and what Reid calls the most important relationship he ever found—the one with himself.

It's a conversation about identity, belonging, empathy, and the gift of becoming who you are.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Representation gives us the language to understand ourselves.
  • There's no one "right" way—or timeline—to know who you are.
  • Believe people when they tell you who they are.
  • Sometimes the most important relationship is the one you build with yourself.
  • Our identities can be gifts, not burdens.
  • Chosen family can change—and save—lives.
  • Younger generations aren't creating new identities; they have more freedom to name what's always existed.
  • Progress isn't linear, but Reid's 50+ years in the community give him real hope for what's ahead.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Reid Vanderburgh is a retired therapist, author, trans elder, and longtime LGBTQ+ advocate who transitioned more than 30 years ago. After his own experience with therapists who didn't understand what he was going through, Reid became one of the early openly trans therapists dedicated to serving the trans community, working with hundreds of clients throughout his career. He's also an author, longtime member of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, stepfather, and proud chosen grandfather.

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

https://reidvanderburgh.com/


🏳️‍🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com

🎧 Loved this episode?

Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!

OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:

🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content


🏳️‍🌈 What resonated most with you?

Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!

🏳️‍🌈 Let’s Connect!

Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️‍🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube

🏳️‍🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book 

🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 

🏳️‍🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️‍🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website

🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!



Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-content

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Hosted by queer mom Jaimie Kelton, The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories offers a weekly space that is both uproariously funny and deeply genuine. Each episode features conversations with LGBTQIA+ parents, hopeful parents, and their allies, delving into the specific joys and hurdles of building a family outside of traditional frameworks. You’ll hear firsthand accounts of the paths to parenthood-from adoption and fostering to IVF and surrogacy-and the everyday realities of raising kids in a world that can still feel unfamiliar. This podcast moves beyond theory, focusing on lived experiences that cover everything from health and fitness routines that work for queer families to navigating complex conversations about sexuality and society with children. The goal is straightforward: to share stories that normalize these experiences, elevate diverse voices, and celebrate the full spectrum of queer family life. Tuning in means connecting with a community, finding resonance in shared challenges, and gathering a lot of practical wisdom-and laughter-along the way. It’s a resource and a companion for anyone curious about or living within the beautifully expansive definition of a modern family.
Author: Language: en-us Episodes: 50

The Queer Family Podcast – LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories
Podcast Episodes
Lesbian IVF Journey: From Infertility to Double Donor Twins [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 50:02
Building a family didn’t happen the way same sex parents Sarah and Beth originally imagined. What began as a straightforward plan unfolded into miscarriage, multiple rounds of IUI, IVF, and ultimately the realization tha…
Seven Kids, One Lesbian, and a Graduation Gift of Sperm [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:07:05
Lex Beach is a gay mom of seven kids (ages 8–23), and her LGBTQ family-building story truly covers the waterfront: donor sperm, IUIs, donor sibling connections, parenting through divorce, blended same sex family life, kn…
Trans Dad Shares Journey of Self-Discovery and Parenthood [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 49:11
ARCHIVE (Recorded in 2024): Meet Shawndeez, a non-binary trans dad who shares their journey towards self-discovery and parenthood. Shawndeez discusses the challenges they faced as a queer and trans individual, their deci…
ARCHIVAL: Children’s Equality in Ireland with Ranae von Meding [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 47:08
This episode was recorded in 2020 and originally released under the show’s former name, If These Ovaries Could Talk. While Ranae von Meding’s family life may look a bit different today, the laws in Ireland have not meani…
ARCHIVAL: Shipping Fresh Sperm Can Work! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 56:03
This episode originally aired back when the show was called If These Ovaries Could Talk, hosted by Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins — before the show evolved into The Queer Family Podcast.Over the years, I’ve had countles…
ARCHIVAL: What Does Pride Mean to You? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 22:55
As we head into a new year, we’re revisiting a very special episode — and carrying those Pride vibes forward with us.This episode originally aired as the finale of our very first Pride Extravaganza, where all month long…