From Lesbian Community to Trans Elder: Reid Vanderburgh’s Story

From Lesbian Community to Trans Elder: Reid Vanderburgh’s Story

Author: Jaimie Kelton – Queer Parenting & LGBTQ Families'. August 17, 2026 Duration: 41:31

Reid Vanderburgh spent more than 20 years living in lesbian community before realizing he was trans. More than 30 years later, he's a retired therapist, author, stepfather, chosen grandfather, and proud trans elder.

Reid joins Jaimie to talk about finding the language to understand yourself, becoming the therapist he once needed, and why younger generations give him hope. They also explore chosen family, the power of representation, and what Reid calls the most important relationship he ever found—the one with himself.

It's a conversation about identity, belonging, empathy, and the gift of becoming who you are.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Representation gives us the language to understand ourselves.
  • There's no one "right" way—or timeline—to know who you are.
  • Believe people when they tell you who they are.
  • Sometimes the most important relationship is the one you build with yourself.
  • Our identities can be gifts, not burdens.
  • Chosen family can change—and save—lives.
  • Younger generations aren't creating new identities; they have more freedom to name what's always existed.
  • Progress isn't linear, but Reid's 50+ years in the community give him real hope for what's ahead.


🏳️‍🌈 About the guest(s)

Reid Vanderburgh is a retired therapist, author, trans elder, and longtime LGBTQ+ advocate who transitioned more than 30 years ago. After his own experience with therapists who didn't understand what he was going through, Reid became one of the early openly trans therapists dedicated to serving the trans community, working with hundreds of clients throughout his career. He's also an author, longtime member of the Portland Gay Men's Chorus, stepfather, and proud chosen grandfather.

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

https://reidvanderburgh.com/


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🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 

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Hosted by queer mom Jaimie Kelton, The Queer Family Podcast-LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories offers a weekly space that is both uproariously funny and deeply genuine. Each episode features conversations with LGBTQIA+ parents, hopeful parents, and their allies, delving into the specific joys and hurdles of building a family outside of traditional frameworks. You’ll hear firsthand accounts of the paths to parenthood-from adoption and fostering to IVF and surrogacy-and the everyday realities of raising kids in a world that can still feel unfamiliar. This podcast moves beyond theory, focusing on lived experiences that cover everything from health and fitness routines that work for queer families to navigating complex conversations about sexuality and society with children. The goal is straightforward: to share stories that normalize these experiences, elevate diverse voices, and celebrate the full spectrum of queer family life. Tuning in means connecting with a community, finding resonance in shared challenges, and gathering a lot of practical wisdom-and laughter-along the way. It’s a resource and a companion for anyone curious about or living within the beautifully expansive definition of a modern family.
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