#18: Using Skills to Get Through the Holidays

#18: Using Skills to Get Through the Holidays

Author: Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center November 27, 2019 Duration: 33:09
The Skillful Podcast
HealthHealth & FitnessEducationFitnessMentalSelf Improvement

The holidays are a time where there is often a lot of pressure to have a certain kind of experience - one that is about family, friends, joy, and celebration. For many folks, this is more of a fantasy than a reality. 

If you are fortunate enough to enjoy time with family and friends during the holidays, the expectation of constant togetherness and merry-making can be a set up for disappointment.

This episode discusses common themes that come up during the holidays as well as ways to take care of yourself.

 

Show Highlights:

  • The mythical family gathering where everyone is happy creates a lot of unrealistic expectations
  • Travel can add pressure and stress 
  • Even in the most functional families, it's often a lot of concentrated time together
  • Old dynamics between parents and adult children arise
  • Dealing with judgmental family members
  • Cope Ahead is a great skill to use for the holidays
  • Cope Ahead requires you to describe the situation that will prompt a problem response in you, anticipate the problem behavior or emotion ahead of time, and then plan out what skills you will use
  • The skill of Radical Acceptance - that you have the family, friends, and social life that you have right now
  • Acceptance does not equal approval
  • Adult children can often think that they are going to go back to families and change them and this rarely works
  • Loneliness, isolation, and grief gets amplified 
  • Creating your own rituals and traditions
  • The Distress Tolerance skill of Contributing can be especially helpful during the holidays

Recap of Skills Discussed:

  • Mindfulness
  • PLEASE 
  • Cope Ahead
  • Radical Acceptance
  • Mindfulness of Others
  • Contributing

Links & Resources:

DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition

Ask Us a Question!

We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

To learn more about DBT and therapy in general, read our blog.


Hosted by the clinicians at the Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center, The Skillful Podcast is a practical guide for anyone feeling stuck in their emotional patterns or relationships. Instead of abstract theory, each episode breaks down tangible skills from two powerful frameworks: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT (RO-DBT). You'll hear straightforward explanations of concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, but also learn about the often-overlooked skills of openness, flexibility, and social connectedness that RO-DBT emphasizes. The focus is always on application-how to take these ideas off the therapist's couch and weave them into your daily interactions and internal world. Whether navigating personal stress, a challenging conversation, or the pursuit of a more fulfilling life, this podcast offers concrete tools to try in real time. It’s a resource for building resilience from the inside out, episode by episode. Tuning in feels less like a lecture and more like a thoughtful consultation, where complex psychological wisdom is translated into actionable steps for reducing suffering and fostering deeper connections with others and yourself.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 61

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