#4: The HOW Skills of Mindfulness

#4: The HOW Skills of Mindfulness

Author: Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center May 15, 2019 Duration: 24:20

Would you like to introduce a mindfulness practice into your daily routine? Today, Ed joins Marielle once again and they continue talking about the mindfulness skills in DBT. In today's episode, they discuss what you actually do to practice mindfulness in the DBT framework. Listen in to find out more.

In the last episode, Marielle and Ed discussed the 'what' skills, or the things that you do, in order to practice mindfulness. These are observing, describing, and participating. Today, they will be talking about the 'how' skills, which are essentially how you observe, describe, and participate, and also the qualities that you want to bring to the way that you observe, describe, and participate. Tune in now for more!

Show Highlights:

  • There are three 'how' skills. They are non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively.
  • Talking about doing things non-judgmentally.
  • How the 'how' skills deepen the practice of mindfulness when we're observing, describing, or participating.
  • How our judgments can get in the way of our being in the moment.
  • Learning to accept each moment like a blanket spread on the lawn can help us to observe without judgment.
  • Why our judgments tend to create a lot of emotional suffering for us.
  • Ed discusses the judgments and the resultant emotions that come up for him around rain.
  • What happens when Ed is able to recognize his judgments, put them to one side, and focus on what's actually happening.
  • Ed has found that practicing non-judgmental mindfulness around rain has decreased his reactivity towards rain.
  • Noticing when you're judging and not judging yourself for the judging.
  • Looking at toxic self-judgment that really causes so much emotional pain.
  • Many judgments are based on inaccuracies.
  • Judgments don't help to change behavior.
  • Discernment is being able to acknowledge things that are helpful or harmful, and things that might be safe or dangerous, without judgment.
  • In trying to be non-judgmental, we are trying to be factual.
  • Practicing one-mindfulness is about just focusing on the thing in front of us.
  • How focusing on one task at a time can lead to increased productivity.
  • Being fully in the moment and practicing being one-mindful is really worth the effort.
  • What it takes to become effective.
  • Effectiveness is really about doing what works and playing by the rules.
  • You need to have goals in order to be really effective.
  • When we get stuck in a place of anger or hostility, we lose sight of the longer-term goals. Mindfulness gives us a moment to cool down some of the intensity of the emotion.

Links and resources:

You can find us online at https://bayareadbtcc.com/ 

Ask Us a Question!

We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.


Hosted by the clinicians at the Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center, The Skillful Podcast is a practical guide for anyone feeling stuck in their emotional patterns or relationships. Instead of abstract theory, each episode breaks down tangible skills from two powerful frameworks: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Radically-Open DBT (RO-DBT). You'll hear straightforward explanations of concepts like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, but also learn about the often-overlooked skills of openness, flexibility, and social connectedness that RO-DBT emphasizes. The focus is always on application-how to take these ideas off the therapist's couch and weave them into your daily interactions and internal world. Whether navigating personal stress, a challenging conversation, or the pursuit of a more fulfilling life, this podcast offers concrete tools to try in real time. It’s a resource for building resilience from the inside out, episode by episode. Tuning in feels less like a lecture and more like a thoughtful consultation, where complex psychological wisdom is translated into actionable steps for reducing suffering and fostering deeper connections with others and yourself.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 61

The Skillful Podcast
Podcast Episodes
#11: Radical Acceptance [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 31:33
Today, Marielle and Ed discuss the skill of Radical Acceptance. Radical Acceptance is a Distress Tolerance skill that helps you stop fighting reality, however painful that reality is. When you can fully open up and radic…
#10: The TIPP Skill: Using Your Body to Calm Down [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:27
Marielle and Ed continue their conversation about Distress Tolerance focusing on the TIPP skill. That extra P in TIPP isn't a typo! TIPP is an acronym that actually stands for 4 different skills. The skills in TIPP inter…
#9: Introduction to Distress Tolerance & the STOP Skill [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:13
Marielle and Ed delve into a discussion today on how you can learn to tolerate emotional distress and overwhelm without making things worse. There's a whole range of behaviors that we can learn, from mindfulness to using…
#8: Emotional Over-Control with Neil Howell, MFT [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:27
Are you someone who's good at getting things done, following the rules and planning ahead? These can be wonderful traits to have but you may notice that focusing on doing everything right interferes with relaxing, enjoyi…
#7: Understanding Validation in Relationships and Why We All Need It [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:52
Do you know how important it is to feel validated? Validation lets us know that we have been heard and understood. We all have the need to be understood by others, especially those closest to us. Today Marielle and Ed di…
#6: Get What You Want by Using the GIVE and FAST Skills of DBT [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:35
Would you like to learn how to ask for what you want, how to resolve a conflict, and how to have your opinion taken seriously in your relationships? Today, Marielle and Ed will be expanding on the interpersonal effective…
#5: Using the DEARMAN Framework to Say No [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:47
Do you find it hard to say 'no', or get what you want in your relationships? Today, Marielle and Ed will be talking about interpersonal effectiveness. The interpersonal effectiveness skills in DBT are practical and they…
#3: The "What" Skills of Mindfulness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:54
Would you like to learn to practice mindfulness in the DBT framework? Today, Marielle and Ed will be discussing the three 'what' skills of mindfulness. These are called 'what' skills because they are what you actually do…
#2: Introduction to Mindfulness and the Wise Mind [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:15
Would you like to know more about DBT and where it all started? In today's episode, Marielle and Ed will be looking into the background and development of DBT. They will discuss dialectics and the concept of Wise Mind an…
#1: What is Emotional Dysregulation? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:32
Are you highly sensitive? And do you struggle with very intense emotions that sometimes overwhelm you? Today, for the first episode of The Skillful Podcast, Marielle will be talking to Ed Fowler, who works with her at th…